About Waking Up...

Y'know, probably the first thing we need to know about waking up, is that we really don't want to wake up.

Might as well be honest.

And why? Because we don't want to be happy. We think we're not *supposed* to be happy. That it's some sort of self-indulgent add-on ...

Here's a snippet of Anthony deMello's comments at a retreat some years ago ... listen to what he has to say(& please read the delightful quotes at that link!):

"You don't want to be happy. Want a little test? Let's try it. It will take you exactly one minute. Think of someone you love very much, someone you're close to, someone who is precious to you, and say to that person in your mind, 'I'd rather have happiness than have you.' See what happens. 'I'd rather be happy than have you. If I had a choice, no question about it, I'd choose happiness.' How many of you felt selfish when you said this? Many, it seems. See how we've been brainwashed? See how we've been conditioned into thinking, 'How could I be so selfish?' But look at who's being selfish. Imagine somebody saying to you, 'How could you be so selfish that you'd choose happiness over me?' Would you not feel like responding, 'Pardon me, but how could you be so selfish that you would demand that I choose you over my own happiness?'

[A Jesuit priest opened each of his conferences] with these words: 'The test of love is sacrifice, and the gauge of love is unselfishness.' That's marvelous! Would you want me to love you at the cost of my happiness? So, you would love me at the cost of my happiness, and I would love you at the cost of my happiness, and so you've got two unhappy people, but long live love!"

We don't want to be unconditionally happy ... we want to be happy only IF we can have things a certain way ... we've been taught to hitch our happiness to certain things. Certain concepts.

But if we want love, freedom, joy, peace and spirituality, we need to become awake.

You want to know one of the first indications that you're waking up..? You look around, and you ask yourself, "Am I crazy, or are all of them crazy?" Well, we *are* crazy -- certifiable. We've got all manner of crazy notions about love, relationships, happiness, joy, and everything. Truth starts out with a minority. A minority of one, or two. And every truth first starts out as a blasphemy ...

It's challenging, this new stuff ... we humans hate the new stuff. We don't want disturbing new concepts, or change ...

And yet -- we need an openness to the truth, no matter what the consequences, no matter where it leads, and even when we don't know where it's going to lead us. That's faith -- not belief, but faith. Beliefs lead to "security, but faith is insecurity. We don't know. We're ready to follow, and open ... wide open. Ready to listen ... but not gullible. Not swallowing whatever we hear, whatever we've long been spoon-fed.

The first step to awakening is to admit that we don't *want* to awaken, and that we don't want to be happy. And we can face the resistance within us ...

The second step is a willingness to understand, listen, and to challenge or WHOLE belief system ... not just religious beliefs, political beliefs, social beliefs, psychological beliefs ... but ALL beliefs.

I can't speak to you, or anyone, of truth. It's not about agreement, disagreement, concepts, theories or even words. Truth isn't about words -- truth is sighted suddenly ... it comes upon us, wordlessly. It just IS. It comes when we're open, receptive and willing.

No theory covers Reality.

Words don't work here ...

I can't speak to you of the truth, but I can show you obstacles to truth ... and I can describe them. But I cannot describe the truth. I can share my own obstacles, my own falsehoods, so that perhaps you can see your own, and perhaps choose to drop them. I can challenge my own beliefs ... and perhaps yours, particularly if I notice that your beliefs are making you unhappy. I can choose to unlearn, and invite you to do the same ...

It's always about choices, isn't it...?

Shalom, Dena