The Clever Disguises of Fear ...

Maybe it takes one to know one, but I can sniff out a fear in a person pretty quickly. Having grown up in a realm of fear (in the guise of control and discipline), and having been in the process of being set free from fear, I suppose I'm a bit heightened to it.

And, we all deal with fear. Whether we know it or not -- whether we LET ourselves know it or not...!

Most of us sure don't like to admit when we feel fear ... or worse, that it's the background music of our lives. Perhaps it makes us too vulnerable to face it ... perhaps it seems too weak, or makes us feel victimized.

During one rather intense personal conflict, during which a friend was accusing me of having gone down the "slippery slope of heresy", I became very aware that my friend was consumed by fear ... I could see it, feel it, all but taste it, as it hung thick in the air, and contorted her face. When I mentioned that I was sensing fear, the reaction was immediate and rejecting, "This is NOT fear -- it's wisdom."

Ahhhh, I see. I didn't realize that wisdom could make a person shake, cry, and lose control ...

But clearly my observation had hit a nerve ... & my observation was seen as highly offensive.

And so, we were stuck ... resolution did not come that day, or since.

I rather like discovering that I'm manifesting fear -- I like getting it out in the open ... because that means I'm aware that I'm in need of more perfect love (& there's no lack to that Supply!) ... I'm on the verge of having a lie replaced with truth ... I'm pregnant, and about to deliver more freedom...!

Yeah, birth hurts ... won't get any arguments from me on that. But the new life that comes forth is SO worth it...!

On this very topic, comes a message from one of my favorite contemporary mystics - Richard Rohr. Likely not a stranger to most who read this blog. I just love what he shares today -- may it sink in deeply -- may it do it's expository, revelational and transformative work, in whomever can bear it ...!

NONVIOLENCE

Question of the Day:
Do I allow hate or mean-spiritedness to control my life?

Fear is almost always behind hate. Sometimes it looks like taking necessary control, but control freaks are usually afraid of losing something. It is almost always fear that justifies hatred, but a fear that is hardly ever recognized as such.

For fear to survive, it must look like reason, prudence, common sense, justice, or even religion. It always works. What better way to veil vengeance than to call it justice? What better way to cover greed than to call it responsible stewardship? What better way to cover arrogance than call it Biblical obedience? Only people who have moved beyond ego and controlling all outcomes, only those practiced at letting go, see fear for the impostor that it is. To be trapped inside of your small self is always to be afraid.

There is an intrinsic connection between fear, hatred and violence. Fear always needs a hiding place, and one of the best is supposed morality or truth-speaking. Then, you can hate with impunity, and even grandiosity, or validation from the Scriptures. Then you can be hateful and not feel the least guilty about it, but in fact feel morally superior.


Taken from: A Lever and a Place to Stand (CD)



Mantra:
Blessed are the peacemakers

Shalom, Dena

Living the Abundant Life Yet...? What Excuses May Be In The Way...? (Part III)

"Change will be too risky."

"People may resent my changing."

"This could upset so many relationships."

"What if something bad happens to me, if I change?"

"What if I don't like who I am, after I change?"

"What if the Real Me is a creep?"

I've heard and/or thought these excuses ... what about you?

Of course, we can never be totally sure that any venture will be risk-free. And honestly, how many of us would enjoy a life that was 100% guaranteed risk-free ...? How B-O-R-I-N-G...! Isn't risk an inherent part of life itself...?

What if holding back, guarding oneself, protecting oneself out of fear of criticism or judgment is actually far more harmful than taking a risk...?

Such fear is paralyzing ... self-limiting ... life-squelching ... leaving us with a diminished and meaningless existence that cannot even be called a "life". May as well be a rock.

Neither can we live a life dedicated to pleasing everyone else ... such a life is built on fear, rendering one a victim of their own excuse-based thinking.

It's incredibly empowering and fulfilling to live from your own convictions, to follow your passion, to let nothing prevent you from experiencing your own fulfillment...!

As Wayne Dyer says, "The peace that you feel because you ignored the worry of a risk is far greater than staying stuck in a belief that is really only and excuse."

Most of what I fear risking is only a projection of my own imagination. So, when I let it keep me from venturing forth, and remain stagnant, I reinforce that fear. I sit there, feeling that fear, as IF whatever I had dreaded had occurred. BUT --- when I step out, with confidence, not looking back, I find that the thing I dreaded doesn't materialize ... it was a mere figment of my own imagination. And it evaporates. And I laugh.

And even if it *did* materialize, I have the power to face it and make choices ... something I cannot do if I opt for avoiding the risk, and just sit there, IN the fear, in the first place.

Choices, choices ... if I don't like what's happening, I can "choose again."

Shalom, Dena

P.S. Next examined excuse: "Change Will Take a Long Time."

We Have Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself ...

What is it about fear? Why is it so very powerful? It permeates our culture, our experience ... it sells newspapers, increases ratings, motivates our behavior. Whether we feel compelled to hoard our money, protect our borders, go to war, go to work, get a flu shot, or go to church ... if we peeled back all the veneers of the why's, the wherefores, and the conventional wisdom of doing a thing, we're quite likely, if we are ruthless honest with ourselves, that fear is the baseline motivation for much, if not most, of what we do. As a culture, as individuals.

The other motivational force, which is far more powerful, but which gets far less air- and focus-time, is Love. See, we don't seem to yet trust that Love is not only the most powerful force in the universe, but that it's the ONLY power in the universe. Love is all there IS. And even as I type that, as you read that, there is likely a litany of "yeah-buts" in your head, saying, "yeah, but what about all the pain, all the suffering, all the injustice, all the evil that I see all around me?"

When we don't trust Love to be powerful, when we see love as mere sentimentality, a nice "extra" in life, when we sideline it as an add-on, then we turn to the faux power of fear -- the power that exists only in the dark recesses in our own minds ... those places that are in need of the Light of Love.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he ... and so when we empower fear in our own minds, we will project that fear outward, into our environment, into our culture, into our experience. Fear, we may notice, is contagious ... panic can spread like a mental pandemic, resulting in either paralysis or riots, lashing inward or outward, or both.

When we are fear-motivated, we tell ourselves a fear-based story ... and our stories are projected onto life around us; we create a self-fulfilling prophecy of our own fears. We indeed attract what we fear.

Here's what God says about fear:

Fear not. For I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.

What we need, it seems to me, is rest. Rest from the cacophony of our fear-based thinking ... rest from the belief in separation from God. In conscious union with God, the mind rests, for then our minds function as the Mind of God... and thus the life of God becomes our life, the experience of God becomes our experience. In that state of rest, our mind comes into it's proper function: an avenue of awareness.

What if we have, and are, all we need?

What if nothing can be added to us, or taken away from us?

What if no evil can touch us?

What if all that God is, is already established in us?

"Son you are ever with me, and all that I have is yours."

What if good doesn't so much come to us, as it expresses itself IN us, and flows through us, to others...?

What if we only need to be still and know ...?

I see that God will never leave us nor forsake us ... that nothing which is created (which includes my own mind) shall ever separate me from the love of God (& God is love). I see that the kingdom of God is within ... in our midst. Here and now, at hand. We have only to accept and partake, in order to experience it. We have no need to try to recapture some mythological "glory days" of the past; nor do we need to endlessly await the elusive-and-yet-"soon-coming" utopia of the future. NOW is when we meet the I Am.

All that's in the way, is what we believe ... which is predominantly fear. Fear that we don't measure up ... fear that we are separated from God ... fear that we have fallen into depravity ... fear that we will be punished for doing/believing wrongly ... fear that God is disappointed and must be appeased ... fear that we don't have the foggiest notion of how to appeal such a One... fear that our attempts won't be good enough ... fear that we, or our offerings, will be rejected ...

But we created these fears ... and we can choose again. Repent ... for the Kingdom of God is at hand. This is not, as many have taught, a threat ... but a delightful and delivering promise. "Turn from the insanity of your own thinking, and embrace what God reveals, within you, to you, through you."

There is only One Power in operation in this universe, and that is Love. Fear makes a lousy and cruel substitute for love. Sure, it may "get the job done" but at what cost?

Anything that I accept as a power apart from God may harm me ... not because "it" can, because it is merely a shadow. If I *believe* that someone, or something, can harm me, then I will indeed suffer ... NOT from what someone/something has done, or even because of what I have done, but because of my *belief* that there is a power apart from God. I create my own idols, and then I suffer from their supposed power over me. Graven images are not just on stone ... they can be engraved upon my own mind, as well.

The harm comes from my deviation from Truth. And, once I know this, once I am aware of this, I can repent, I can choose-again. I can tell myself "a different story." I can submit my own perspective, and receive the perspective of God.

Even if "evil" comes at me from another person, I do not need to fear that one, and neither must I hate them ... in fact, in hating another, I actually "bind" that one to me. Evil is a funny thing ... in being a no-thing. When it is projected from one to another, it can only cause harm if it is accepted. If I do not accept this "gift", then it continues to belong to the one who brought it to me. Projecting evil is like swallowing rat poison ... it harms the one who swallows it. I do not need to accept any rat poison ... and the best response for one who has unwittingly swallowed rat poison, and is thus spewing it, is compassion.

Even if I am spoken of as evil ... even if I am perceived to be a horrendously-deceived tragedy-in-the-making, I don't have to let that concern me. I have no responsibility to prove anything or defend myself. I can let the world, and everyone in it, entertain any sort of notions they choose. I can bless those who curse me, I can do good t them that hate me, and pray or them which despitefully use me and even persecute me. I can pray for their awakening ... but I have no need to fear them, or to hate them... which will only harm me.

This is becoming true for me: if I do not entertain evil in my consciousness, there is no evil operating in my world. I may see the same events, I may witness the same circumstances, I may experience the same assaults ... but if I see them as confusion-manifesting, then I can pray with Jesus, "Father, forgive them, & help me to forgive them, for they know not what they do."

If I see a presence or power apart from God, then evil exists for me. If I see someone/something to hate, fear, or resent, then I am only seeing an image that I have created within myself... for hatred, fear, resentment all begin as thought, and are a self-created image, and thus totally lacking in power or reality. Figments in my imagination. Monsters in the closet. If I look at them closely enough, and shine Light upon them, the monsters turn into dust-bunnies ... just as those I hate turn into the confused-beloveds.

See if this impacts you like it does me: Evil is nothing but a suggestion or temptation to accept a creator apart from God.

Woah! Did you know that's what we do, when we entertain thoughts of evil...? It's an appearance, from within our own minds, our own imaginations ... projected out where we can see it, and thus to know that we need more Light shone in dark corners of our thinking ... we need more renewal of the mind. How GOOD to know that...!

If I rest in the truth that God is the ONLY power, and that that power is Love, I find myself discovering, to my dumbfounded joy and delight, that all manner of blessings drench me...! I can abide in the truth of God's kingdom, here and now, on earth. I can abide in the awareness that God is all in all, in everything, with everyone and everything living and moving and having their BEing IN Him...! I then find myself "accidentally" and "FIRST-naturedly" living the Abundant Life. Glory be! This formerly fear-based and pessimistically-streaked woman is gob-smacked that this is becoming my reality...! Gadzooks!

Yes, indeedy, circumstances may confront me, and appear to be terrifying, threatening of disaster, and YET, Christ says within me, "It is I, be not afraid." I notice that God has odd ways of reminding me of Himself. Sometimes, no oftentimes, the very thing which *appears* to be a disaster is the very vehicle of my awakening to the reality of the spiritual life. Often, when we believe our lives are falling apart, they're truly falling together, perhaps for the first time...!

That which appears to be evil can actually be opportunities for my transformation ... as they challenge what I thought I believed, showing me what's deception, and what is truth. It takes what it takes for the prodigal to wake up and smell the pig-sty, remember who he really is, and thus return Home to God. The "long ways off" can be speaking more of an awareness-distance, than of a geographical-distance...

I want to come to the place, and thus it is happenING, wherein I recognize God as the Soul of every person and God as the activity in every situation.

Can you hear the Voice of God, here and now, within you..?

I will never leave you nor forsake you. Why all this struggle? I am in the very midst of you, closer than breathing, nearer than hands and feet. Why struggle as if you had to seek for Me and search for Me? Why struggle as if you had to hold on to Me? i will never leave you; I am with you always.

Stop fearing; stop doubting. Rest in Me, in My arms, in My love, and let yourself be at peace. Trust the I who is at the center of your being. Believe that I can do all things in and through you. Believe that there is a Presence at the center of your being whose only function is to bless, to love, to be an instrument of My grace. Trust Me. Believe only in Me. Fear not.

Shalom, Dena

P.S. Next, I want to explore why the fear entered in ... I want to look closely at the doctrine of "original sin."

To See or Not to See ~ That is the Question...!

What if ... what if we are experiencing life (either as positive or negative) in accordance with our own understanding of God ...? This, I believe, is our foundational premise ... as we see God, so do we see ourselves, and so do we relate to God, and to the rest of the world.

What if we were intended to live free of disease ... and even free of the FEAR of disease...? What if it's possible, right here and now?

What if the fear of disease is what's keeping the manifestation of disease in our lives...?

What if doing certain things, or taking certain things, in order to avoid disease, is actually keeping disease as a reality in our lives?

What if we could come to a place in which we could see ourselves as being beyond the grasp of disease?

What would it take to get there?

It won't happen by anything we do ... it will happen only by what we know ... and knowing differently depends on seeing differently.

We have to start by being open to the possibility that what we currently believe (about God, about ourselves, about disease/health) may not be the truth ... if we insist that what we currently know/believe IS the truth, then that's where we'll stay -- until we change our minds.

Those who know they are blind shall see, but those who profess to see, shall remain blind.

It doesn't work to think a thought that we *want* to believe, trying to force it to move from "the head to the heart" (utterly exhausting -- and totally ineffective). We need an entirely new understanding -- a way of seeing -- that becomes more real to us than what we currently believe.

As I see it, we've made a choice, individually and collectively, to believe in a God who is distant, arbitrary, withholding, capricious, judgmental, angry, wrathful, punishing, and separate. Does it not stand to reason that we could challenge this view, question it, dig into it to see whether it's indeed true ...? And, could we not choose *again*...?

It all starts there ... and once we see God as He is (as He reveals Himself to each of us, as only the Spirit can), would it not follow that our view of ourself would also change, to align with His view? And if we come to the place where we know that we're not separate from God, but are manifestations of the very life of God (for there is no other Source of Life), wouldn't it dawn on us that however God's Life is defined, so too would our own life be defined?

Is God sick, diseased, vulnerable to attack? Or is God whole, healthy, complete?

How then should we, made in His exact image and likeness, BE...?

Let's look at the occasion wherein Jesus washed the feet of His disciples ... when He got to Peter, Peter balked, but Jesus said, "If I do not do this, then you will have no part with me." Peter then wants ALL of him washed (I can so relate with impulsive and passionate Peter!). But don't miss what Jesus says next: "He who has bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean."

So why the feet? Literally speaking, and particularly in that day and age, the feet collected much dirt and grime (and assorted unmentionable contaminants!) from walking through daily life ... metaphorically/spiritually speaking, we pick up on the collective "dirt" and contamination that comes from aberrant theology, psychology, and experiences in daily life ... all of this must be washed away, in order for our inherent cleanness/wholeness to come through...!

It's not that the cleansing changes us -- it's that we're then able to see what's always been. Once we are aware of who and why we're here ... there is no disease, no fear of disease that can ever find a place to attach to us again. We will know that NO human effort is needed to fix something "broken" because we have always been "completely whole"!

We are not what we have always believed about ourselves ... what we've been told all our lives. We are not victims, and we do not need to live from the false perceptions of lack, loss, and fear...!

When this occurs, when we make this perception-shift - when we can SEE (& are no longer blinded by the lies of this world), then we will have risen to the level of awareness that transcends all man-made laws and rules and doctrines and pronouncements. For we will then live by the higher law of perpetual life (where disease cannot exist ... wherein disease is illegitimate)...!

Shalom, Dena

The Trouble with Transformation ~ Part II

This sharing has been heavy on my heart ... as I'm currently experiencing the imminent loss of a relationship, due to the transformations I've personally gone through in the past few years. My heart is heavy with a plethora of emotions ... remembering the many good times, as well as the wretchedly painful times, trying to reconcile it all in my mind ... trying to honor it all, and hold it all in my heart ... wanting to see it all from God's higher/deeper transcendent-perceptive ... to better understand, to better learn from it, to better live with it as part of the joy/pain ambiguity that makes up so very much of the human adventure.

I can assure you of two things:

- Transformation can indeed be very, very costly.
- Transformation is ultimately worth what it costs.

I'll be writing largely from a place of heavy emotion in this post, rather than from an organized mind ... so bear with me, and hopefully it will all fall into place before it's said and done.

I see transformation as a necessary-but-messy process ... not unlike the birth process. Both are conceived in a moment of wild-abandon ... both end up with an "expansion" ... both come to an agonizing place of transition ... and both end up giving birth to a new form of life. If you ask either one, in the midst of the transition, if it's a joyous thing, you're likely to be hit, or bit or annihilated, LOL! Oh, and let's not forget that the "new life" must be nurtured, treasured, honored and loved. Neither will thrive well with benign neglect, much less abuse.

During that transition-time, when we're no longer what we were, and yet not quite what we will be, it's agonizing, no doubt about it. There's a sort of "shuffling of normalcy", when we're off-center, askew, flailing. And usually sporting a dazed, wide-eyed expression. It feels like a falling-apart ... like utter chaos. That which we thought we knew, thought we were standing upon, is gone, shattered, and it can feel like a free-fall. and yet, this pattern of falling apart precedes each transition to a new vista of faith. If we're not prepared (or don't learn how) to live with the inevitable anxiety that the chaos ushers in, then we can't well move into deeper awarenesses of faith, or more intimacy with God.

I notice that each encounter with God in scripture, each transition-account, begins with a warning to not be afraid. Fear is to be expected ... it's a given. But we don't have to give in to it ... we can truly come to see that while it can *feel* like our lives are falling apart, our lives are finally coming together ... perhaps for the first time.

Letting go of what we *think* we know to be true (or even "all truth"), letting go of what's familiar, is painful -- it's a strong suffering. But the old has to die to make room for the new ... it's a way of life, if we're going to follow Jesus (He's the Way ... the way out of the old, and into the new ... not just once, but repeatedly).

The old paradigm of thinking is black and white, right and wrong, good and evil -- duality. Such a perspective has been called a "dangerous naivete" ... it doesn't know, but it thinks it does. In thinking it knows, it resists anything new from coming in. But in the new paradigm, darkness and light coexist ... paradox is a way of life. In this realm, death is a part of life, and failure is part of being victorious ... and we learn from our mistakes. Opposites crash and unite ... and everything belongs (it always did). In this realm, there is nothing profane ("outside the temple"), for all is holy.

But there's no "direct flight" from the first paradigm to the second ... most of us have to go through the transformational/transitional stages ... and sometimes repeatedly. It always feels like we're falling apart ... we have to move outside our comfort zones, and allow ourselves the permission to feel lost and confused for a time. The previous ways die away, so that the new ways can emerge. For a while, we're in "no man's land."

It seems to me that the most profound transitions tend to occur in the second half of life (or, perhaps earlier, if the person has "lived hard" and has been shaken out of complacency earlier). I've heard it said that the challenge of the second half of life is very often the re-embracing of what we have long denied, rejected and feared. We come face to face with that which we've spent a lifetime avoiding ... it's as if our "repression sphincter muscle" wears out, or it's warranty expires...!

Transformation is not only terrifying to those who go through it, but to those who witness it. Transformation upsets status quo ... it can throw relationships off-balance - particularly if the relationship was invested in following a script (subconsciously, of course). When our equilibrium is threatened, we tend to self-protect ... to shut down, to hold back, to go within. So it can be in relationships when one is transforming in a particular way, and the other is not. All too often, the relationship can be sacrificed, in favor of feeling "safe and secure" with what's familiar. I wonder how many transformations have been cut short and abandoned, because the one transforming couldn't take the abandonment of those who didn't understand...? How many quit the journey, in favor of conforming to group-think?

I honestly don't see transformation as optional. We can put it off, sure, but to our detriment. The only constant in life, it seems, is change. To live in the now, the present moment (the only moment in which we can engage with God who is called "I AM"), we have to let go of who we were yesterday ... we have to go with "what is" in the present moment... the eternal now. Unfortunately, most of our culture, particularly the Christian culture, focuses either on the glorified past, or the ever-pending utopian future. When we forfeit the now, we miss life, and we resist transformation ... perhaps the only suffering greater than transformation is the suffering that comes with the resistance of transformation.

So, is it worth it? Is it worth it to allow ourselves to be transformed from who we *thought* we were into who we *really* are (and this, I believe, is a huge part of following Christ)? Is it worth it when friends abandon us, when family questions our sanity, when churches excommunicate us, when communities misunderstand and blame us?

Only you can answer for yourself. After a lifetime of living-in-conformity (no, I was merely existing, not living), and after a shorter time of experiencing severe transformation (with all of the inherent fall-out), I can say, "YES." I can say it with tears, with a heavy heart, with an ache in my soul ... and yet I say it with transcendent joy that over-arches the pain ... no, it embraces and absorbs the pain, transforming it into more joy. Odd though that sounds, it's what I've experienced, as I've learned - to my utter astonishment - that it is, indeed, worth it.

Have you ever run into those rare folks who have been chewed up and spit out, and yet there's something deep shining out of their eyes? Yeah, those ones know about the paradoxical pain/joy of transition and transformation. Hang out with those folks ... you can learn a lot by just being in their presence ... even if they never utter a word.

Methinks there's a Part III wanting to get out ...

Shalom, Dena

God's Most Dangerous Disguise

Ready for some provocative stuff...? Do we dare to let ourselves conceive of God through what has traditionally been considered "profane"...?

(Though, honestly, profane comes from the Latin words pro fanum - or "outside the Temple" ... the veil has been torn ... there is now nothing separated from that which is holy, and there is no need for a temple ... I see that we are in the time in which everything is said to be "Holy unto the Lord", but I digress ...)

- My guess is that how we relate to one thing is probably how we relate to everything. How we relate sexually is probably a good teacher and indicator of how we relate to God (& how we relate to God is probably a good teacher and indicator of how we will relate to everything else). Religion and relationship are one, it seems. Religion, as the very word re-ligio, indicates, is the task of putting our divided realities back together: human and divine, male and female, heaven and earth, sin and salvation, mistake and glory. The mystics are those who put it together very well. Many faithful lovers, artists, and seers put it together without even knowing that they might be mystics ...

(Well alrighty then, let's just dive right in! I like that -- putting our divided realities back together. Dualistic thinking so very much permeates our consciousness, that we tend to not question it ... and yet perhaps the concept of us being whole, integrated, is a deeper and truer reality. Perhaps "opposites" are meant to be observed, for context, but not meant to be definitive of our truest identity and experience ...)

- Let me offer the words of a Moslem mystic, Shams-ud-din Mohammed Hafiz (1320-89), who writes Person poetry with such integration between human love and divine love that the reader often loses the awareness of which is which. Listen to his "You Left a Thousand Women Crazy":

Beloved,
Last Time,
When you walked through the city
So beautiful and so naked,

You left a thousand women crazy
And impossible to live with.

You left a thousand married men
Confused about their gender.

Children ran from their classrooms,
And teachers were glad you came.

And the sun tried to break out
Of its royal cage in the sky
And at last, and at last,
Lay it's Ancient Love at Your feet.

(Whew! What does that imagery do to you -- do you cringe, thinking it "improper"? Does it seem to invade through some well-fortressed boundary? Does it strike you as dangerous? Or are you able to see how God, who invented sexuality and its inherent power, means to use it as a deeper-than-physical message of how HE wants our relationship with Him to be..? So why are we taught to separate God from sexuality within traditional Christianity? What happened to "naked and unashamed"? Is it lost to us? Can it be recaptured, metaphorically, experientially?)

- One would think that if there were any religion that would have most welcomed this integration [of spirituality and sexuality] it would be Christianity. After all, it's the only world religion that believes that God became a human body. We call this the "Incarnation" and we call him "Jesus." And yet, Christianity has relegated the body to a shadowy realm. This hardly demands verification after a cursory look at the tragic sexual state, the pollution of the physical earth, or gross unbalanced consumerism, our pendulum swings between obesity and dieting, between "couch-potato numbness and obsessive fitness concerns. Sex is the one "sin" in America that we are all supposed to be upset and shocked about - "while omitting the weightier matters of the Law - justice, mercy and good faith." We are clearly not very at home in our bodies, and Jesus came to show us that it is our human and this-world experience that we must and can trust. It is our necessary and good starting point. Because of the Incarnation, the material world becomes the privileged place for the divine encounter. But most of us are still shooting for the stars. We are looking at ascents and "higher states of consciousness" and moral perfectionism, while Jesus quite simply comes "and lives among us."

(Much there to consider, no? I love how this ties in so beautifully with what Kevin Beck shared yesterday. If we were *only* to be having a spiritual experience, why would God go to the trouble of putting us in human bodies, on this physical planet..? The goal, it seems to me, is not to either negate this physical world, nor to be mesmerized by it, but to see beyond it, to the more true-truth of our spiritual reality, and to bring that spiritual awareness back INTO the physical realm ... while being IN the world and not OF it, we are nevertheless to fully enjoy and celebrate the gift of this physical/earth experience. Jesus, in choosing to inhabit human flesh, has shown us, definitively and without question, that human flesh is still, and always has been "Very Good", as God first declared us to be. And yes, this includes the gift and beauty of our sexuality ... God, the inventor of sex, is very pro-sex.)

- I know what [some of] you are thinking - and feeling. "This is dangerous stuff!" "What if it's all wrong?" "Where might this lead us?" "How do I know that this is not another excuse for narcissism, sensuality, and people hurting people?"

(Y'know, that's possible! But those things are happening right now, have always *been* happening, even with all the many prohibitions -- or perhaps, in part because of them. Including amongst Christians. How many happy, healthy, peaceful, well-adjusted Christians do you know? A lot? A few? Don't the few stand out in stark contrast to the many? Where is the proof that we've actually discovered the power of the truth that Christianity claims it declares? The current twisted sexual climate isn't just the result of human "sin" but also due to not discovering how to be whole and integrated - and thus healed - in the sexual realm. "Just say no" doesn't work, and it ain't wisdom...! One could make a case that it, like fear, is the beginning of wisdom - at least for those in puberty or addiction - but we've got to get beyond the beginning and discover how God really sees sexuality, so that we can be free to use the gift in the way in which it was intended. We may need to go deeper, in order to see what's going on beneath the surface here ...)

- The forgiveness inherent in our faith teaches that all of us are much larger than the good or bad stories we tell about ourselves. Your life is not about "you." It is part of a much larger stream called God. Faith might be precisely that ability to trust the river, to trust the flow and the lover. It is process that we don't have to change, coerce, or improve. We need to allow it to flow. That takes immense confidence in God, especially when we're hurting. Usually, I can feel myself getting panicky. I want to make things right quickly. I lose my ability to be present and I go up into my head and start obsessing. I tend to be overfocused and I hate it because then I'm not really feeling anymore. I'm into goal-orientation, trying to push or even create the river - the river that is already flowing through me. But faith does not need to push the river precisely because it is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing and we are in it. The river is God's providential love - so do not be afraid.

(I adore Richard's transparency here -- it invites me to follow suit, to not be afraid of revealing who I am, and how I struggle ... when we reveal ourselves, we take away the power of shame, of secrecy ... we can all relate, and we can laugh at the absurdity of our follies ... we're all in this together, and we don't need to continue the false burden of pretending that we're other than where we are, stumbling our way into all truth, as He leads. It's OK. Very OK.)

- We need not give emotional food or charge to our fears or become attached to them. We don't even have to shame ourselves for having these fears. Simply ask your fears, "What are you saying to me about what is real?" What are you trying to teach me?" Some say that FEAR is merely an acronym for "false evidence appearing real." Ask yourself, "what am I afraid of?" "Does it matter?" "Is it worth holding onto?" We have to ask whether it is fear that keeps us from loving. I promise you, grace will lead us into those fears and voids, and grace alone will fill them up. If we are willing to stay in the void. We mustn't engineer an answer too quickly. We must not get too settled too fast. For it is so easy to manufacture an answer to take away the anxiety.

(If only we could each see how very much our fears are influencing, if not *ruling* us! If only we could stop running from our fears, denying them, suppressing them, and pretending we're "just fine, praise the Lord" and allow the Lord, who is the one exposing our fears, to take us into them, show us the no-things that they really are, and then show us the truth that both replaces them and sets us free...! This, in essence, is the renewal of the mind. We get so busy defending our fears - wrongly assuming them to be our required foundations, the glue that keeps us in "relationship" with God - that we instead blame the person/circumstance who is "triggering" our fears, or we blame the "devil" for tempting us. All the while, we're really resisting God's attempts to heal us from the inside-out, and we thus ensure that we'll just have to go "round that rock again." Like the Israelites, we can stay in the desert for 40 years, or else we can let God lead us through the necessary wilderness more efficiently. It takes what it takes, and nothing is wasted -- it all depends on whether we're yet ready, yet "able to bear" the "much more" that Jesus has for us - the "all truth" that the Spirit is leading us into. It seems to me that we either circle the familiar with our fear, or else we step out onto the less-traveled path in love -- the choice is ours. NOTE: this is not about "destination" ... we're already IN God. this is about awareness and experience -- *how* we will experience this current life ... will it be the status quo life, or the Abundant Life...?)

- What must be sacrificed, and it will feel like a sacrifice, is the attachment and the strange satisfaction that problem-solving gives us. Don't you feel good when you've solved problems at the end of the day? We say to ourselves, "I'm an effective, productive, efficient human being. I've earned my right to existence today because I've solved ten problems."

(That cracks me up! How does he *know* my before-bed litany?!? As a mama of 8, I'm forever behind on my "to do" list ... and with my creative personality, I can procrastinate with the best of 'em! Just sitting around waiting for creational motivation to fall on my lap and possess me..! So, on those days when I do get much accomplished -- particularly those long-put-off nag-fest things -- I DO feel like an effective, productive and efficient human being ...! Hmmm... what does that say about me?)

- We mustn't lead with our judgments and fears. We shouldn't lead with our need to fix and solve problems. This is the agenda-filled calculating mind that cannot see things through God's eyes. We must not get rid of the anxiety until we have learned what it wants to teach us.

(Ahhh, everything wants to teach me something! But of course ... this is a school of love. An environment perfectly set up to challenge and shake up every concept I erroneously learn early in life, so that I can come to know that I don't know, which enables me to *really* know...! The blessed irony of it all!)

- We need to be able to both cry and laugh at life ... weeping is different from beating up on ourselves [or others]. Weeping is a gentle release of water that washes and renews. Weeping leads to owning our complicity in the problem. Weeping is the opposite of blaming and also the opposite of denying. It leads to deep healing when inspired by the Spirit. On the other hand, if you can't laugh after fifty or sixty years, we probably haven't done things well. Were taking ourselves too seriously; we have not discerned the mystery. Remember, everything finally belongs. If we can't laugh, we are probably holding our debts against ourselves and we haven't accepted forgiveness.

(Or ... to go a bit deeper, perhaps there was nothing to be forgiven for...? Perhaps that was a human misperception that came out of our own shame and fear, and sense of false-separation ...? Maybe ...)

Wondering now, could our fear of being human, fully human, humanity-that-God-delights-in, be keeping us from fully appreciating, stewarding and celebrating our sexuality? Do we need to do some questioning of our own thinking, our own beliefs behind the thinking? Thoughts about our bodies ("not good enough," "dirty," "sinful"), thoughts about sex ("God turns His head everytime we "do the nasty" "Good Christian women/men don't enjoy sex" "God puts up with sex in order to get more babies out of the equation"). May God show us what we really believe, and replace our licentious and/or repressive thinking with the truth about sex, the beauty of sex, and yes - the JOY of sex, as He intended it when He came up with it...!

Shalom, Dena

Cleansing the Lens - OR - The Seduction of Fear

I'm sure enjoying this grand adventure ... and enjoying how the "just right" book falls into my lap at the "just right" time. Recently, it's been a confirming joy to bounce back and forth between Richard Rohr (a Catholic mystic) and Marcus Borg (a Protestant scholar) ... and to discover how these two dear and brave and radical men have come to the same conclusions about the heart and nature of our uberly-beyond-good God...!

I found this chapter of his book, "Everything Belongs" to be enrapturing - as soon as I'd read it I had to jump up to share it - but no one was unbusy enough to sit and indulge me, so I had to wait 24 long stinkin' hours in order to share it here with y'all. First I have to process inwardly (for I am a slight introvert - which doesn't mean "shy"...!), and then the "owning" of a concept isn't complete unless and until I can share it. Good thing I can talk and type fast!

Take from it whatever resonates for you ... freely let the rest go:

- Instead of leading us to see God in new and surprising places, Christianity too often has led us to confine God inside of our place. Simone Weil said, "the tragedy of Christianity is that it came to see itself as replacing other religions, instead of adding something to all of them."

(I see that [even as I would go further, and say that I see Christianity as a man-made attempt to define, confine and control God's truth -- which was always meant of the world-at-large, and never meant to be turned into a separate sub-culture -- a spiritual ghetto]. This is, after all, good news for *all* mankind.)

- Corporate religion gets all tied up with totems and symbols and arguments about who's right and who's wrong. This preoccupation with religion as an ideology leads to over-identification with the group, its language and symbols. Group loyalty becomes the test rather than loyalty to God or truth. It is easier to belong to a group, than to belong to God. Thomas Aquinas said, "If it is true, it is of the Holy Spirit." The only question is veracity, not origin.

(LOL, I experience this continuously...! I'll share something, and I'll inevitably hear back, "aha! You're a universalist/new-ager/Preterist/mystic/heretic!" Somehow, by labeling me, it gives them permission to not hear nor consider whatever it was that I said ... I am dismissed, devalued as a human being, cast into the box of "daughters of perdition" and therefore my words have no merit. It's the spiritual version of sticking one's fingers in one's ears, and yelling, "I can't heeeeeeeear you - la-la-la-la-la-LA!" Once, when telling a friend about what I was blogging about here, I said, "I may not be traditional, but what I'm sharing is biblical." My friend actually said, "Well, we're traditional, so we can't go there." I was incredulous! Did he even hear what the choices were, and which one he chose..? Having been a participant in the house church "movement" in recent years, I can attest that this "group-think" preoccupation is strongly prevalent within that realm ... thinking themselves so very radical, they don't see how, while they've left the buildings, they've kept the institutional spirit alive and well.)

- God does not lead with his judgments. When we lead with our judgments, we can't see correctly... when we lead with our fear, we can't see correctly. If we lead with the calculating mind, we'll never get to love. But God refuses to be known except by love. If contemplation teaches us to see an enchanted world, cynicism afraid there is nothing there. The problem is no longer to believe in God - it's to believe in humanity. We're tremendously under-confident about what it means to be human. We tend to see ourselves living in a disenchanted universe without meaning, purpose or direction. We are aware only of what it is not. Seldom do we enjoy what it is. Healthy spirituality is an enthusiasm about what is, not an anger about what isn't.

(An enchanted world ... yes, I'm coming to see that. Who knew it was always there?!? So label me an emerging Pollyanna...! Better than the correctly-pessimistic perfectionist that religion had trained me to be! As a Christian, it seemed that I was known for what I was against, more than what I was for. If someone mentioned one of the "blessing" verses, I'd counter with a "yeah, but look at this destruction verse -- God is both love AND wrath, y'know!" I made a good and miserable little parrot...!)

- When we see that the world is enchanted, we see the revelation of God in each individual as individual. Our job is not to be like anyone else, but to do what is ours to do. We must find out what part of the mystery it is ours to reflect. There is a unique truth that our lives alone can reflect. all I can give back to God is what God has given to me - nothing more and no less! Our first job is to see correctly who we are, and then to act on it.

(I see this as part of the "all truth" that the Spirit will lead us into ... we come to see God as He is, which in turn, almost simultaneously, reflects who/how we really are, and out of that flows God-through-us.)

- We determine by our internal dialogue and predispositions - fears, angers, and judgments - much more than we'd like to admit. We determine what we will see and what we won't see, what we pay attention to and what we don't. That's why we have to clean the lens: we have to get our ego-agenda out of the way, so we can see things as they are. We usually see everything through our own egocentric agenda. Our preoccupation is "How will this inconvenience/affect me - make me feel?" Then we twist realty so we can feel good.

(Our minds are seemingly wired to latch on to what we think is our version of the truth -- but in reality, it's just the "story we tell ourselves." We dub it as "THE TRUTH" and then our brain seeks to prove that it really IS the truth -- it will resist, ignore, discount, deny and denounce anything that it perceives to be a threat to what it thinks IS the truth. Hence the lies we believe, thinking them "truth." Hence our need for mind renewal. Our egoic/carnal minds need renewal - to line up with the Mind of Christ which we already have - affirmed even by scripture.)

- The truth is always too much for our ego - who is ready for the whole truth? I'm not. For the thinking of the ego is largely based on fear. Fear of what I might not be. Fear of what I might see. Fear I won't be successful or accepted, or that I will be hurt. So we have to recognize how dominant fear is in our lives. But this fear is not a great big teeth-chattering fear that something is going to kill us. Our fear is in the service of all the little ways we have learned to protect our false self. But love is who we really are. We'll never see the love we really are, our foundation, if we keep living out of our false self of self-protection and overreaction.

(Woah ... let that one sink in a while. Do you see it? Do you see how everything we do, think, believe, is rooted in either love or of fear? Can you feel that? Test it a bit ... think of some situations in your own life, some recent conversations, some recent thoughts. Dig in a bit, and ask yourself some questions -- can you lift the veil of the story you tell yourself, and see what's there, at the root? Is it love, welling up and over, wholly uncontainable? Or is it fear, sniveling in the corner, pretending to be something moral and altruistic and noble, not wanting you to peer too closely? Or does fear even *keep* you from questioning in the first place -- dismissing the notion as "unnecessary" or "ridiculous"..? Are you yet aware of how subtly fear can masquerade as pseudo-love? Do you want to be that aware? Can we handle the truth..?)

- The world, the system, moves forward out of fear. That's why it has to threaten us to make us play the game. We're threatened with loss of job, money, reputation or prestige. Another reason we play the tame is the high reward we receive for staying in it. Why else would we play it? Rewards and punishments become almost the only game in town. But true power moves us, with great difficulty, beyond the reward/punishment mentality. In contemplative prayer, we move into a different realm. It is not the arena of merit, of reward and punishment; it is the realm of pure grace and freedom. Religion drags along the reward/punishment system since it can understand no other. But love flourishes only in the realm of freedom.

(Think about it: how did you first get enticed to "come to God"? Were you drawn in by His love, or scared into accepting Jesus as your Savior? Never mind that that phrase is not found in scripture -- notice how that keeps happening? How many of us would be Christians, were it not for either the threat of "hell" or the promise of heaven? What does that say about our concept of God? Do we believe He's got not enough going for Him, that we have to resort to either threats or bribes to come to Him? Is knowing God, here and now, not *enough*...? Further, what if knowing Him here and now was the very point of all of Jesus' messages? What if He never was talking about life-after-death in the first place? What if He was always more concerned about life-before-death, because the outcome is secure..?)

- Sometime around the 1960's and increasingly since then, the language has switched. We have switched from a language of responsibility to a language of rights, which only aggrandizes the private self. "I deserve, I have a right to, I have been hurt, I have been offended." These are huge debts the fragile ego tries to pay to itself. But they have to be forgiven, because they can never be paid. The private ego does not deserve all this supposed dignity it thinks it has accrued and can pull from the outside. The real primal dignity is a gift from God and is nothing that can be claimed by other people's response to me.

(Ohhhhhh, to *get* that! I mean, down deep, where I live and move and have my being - oh wait, God's there. And the ego cannot "get" anything -- it can only be exposed for what it is, i.e., "oh, it's only you, you lil' stinker!" It can only be absorbed into the light. It's meant to be a gift to me -- that which looms large and gets my attention, and shows me who I'm *not* -- so that I can finally see who I really *am*.)

- The wounds to our egos are our teachers and must be welcomed. They must be paid attention to, not litigated.

(Yes! I no longer want to despise my ego/carnal nature -- I want to learn, and not repress, deny, and thus repeat the same errant thinking/behavior. To "die to" our egos, doesn't mean to kill off our egos -- as if that were possible! It means to accept what is ... to face reality, on a deep and naked level.)

- A contemplative posture faces reality and sees the presence of God. So there is ultimately nothing to fear. True religion is never about fear, but always about moving beyond fear. Yet many of us were religiously trained to be comfortable with fear.

(Don't get me started ... too late! How many times have I been told that I "should" fear God. "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." Yes - the beginning, but not the place to remain! Perfect love casts out all fear - including the fear of God. Intimacy cannot thrive (or even exist!) in an atmosphere of fear. Think about it - how many women would respond positively to a man 'courting' her with this statement: "I love you SO much - I must have you! I want you to love me in return, and live with me forever -- and if you do not choose me, I will hunt you down and torture you forever!" Yeah, that'll inspire "love"...! How could she trust such a one? And yet we put that on God. Sheesh. Do we really listen to what we accept as traditional truth...?)

- A lot that's called orthodoxy, loyalty and obedience is grounded in fear. Fear of being wrong, fear of being rejected, or fear of not being "in." Fear of not being promoted, fear of a God who has not been experienced. WE call it loyalty, but it's often fear.

(Fear leads to control and manipulation, or anxiety and paralysis - always. We cover over our fear with platitudes, and symbols, and rituals ... we shut down questions by implying that it demonstrates rebellion. We deny that we have fear, and thus insure that fear is thus all the more entrenched in our hearts! But anxiety and faith seem to be opposites for Jesus. Sometimes we mistake fear for humility, but it's just a perverse blindness. Fear is contrary to truth.)

- Love is the ultimate reality. And yet love can be hidden -- we don't see it unless we learn how to see, unless we clean the lens. In a perfect mirror I see what's there, not what I'm afraid of, nor what I need to be there, but what is really there. Mirror-wiping is the inner discipline of constantly observing my own patterns, what I pay attention to and what I don't pay attention to in order to get my own ego out of the way. Teresa of Avila said, "for the most part all our trials and disturbances come from our not understanding ourselves." We must learn to observe our own stream of consciousness. What is my agenda? What is my predisposition? What are my prejudices? What are my angers? We need the ability to stand away from ourselves and listen and look with some kind of calm, not judgmental, objectivity. This process can be brutal, but it is absolutely necessary. Most people become their thoughts. They do not have thoughts and feelings; the thoughts and feelings have them. It is what the ancients called "being possessed by a demon."

(We need eyes with which to see -- the eyes that see beyond the form, into the essence of reality. We need to see within ourselves - minus the shame-colored-glasses that most of us were taught to wear! The brutality spoken of here only comes from the judgments of ourselves, and others -- or what we believe is coming from others. That judgment is not coming from the very God who made us exactly as we are -- for His "very good" purpose! The brutality is to our ego, who is highly-invested in seeing things its own way, highly-invested in masquerading as the real us -- but it's not. As for the demon-part, that's all been dismantled for me... Jesus tells us that evil comes out of our own hearts -- we have met the enemy and he is us. We just can't bear to see that, so we egoicaly project our unbearable stuff "out there" onto an overly-personfied "being" -- i.e., "the devil made me do it". Satan, as I now see it, is nothing more than our own adversarial/egoic nature, which resists God and truth -- it's been defeated, but it still makes a lot of noise. So much fluff and nonsense. We don't have to agree with how the ancients, groping in the dark, explained that which they didn't understand. We can receive more truth, if we can but bear it.)

- The watcher can become self-preoccupied, which only distorts things further So we have to observe, but also not let the observer become an accusing tyrant. If we get past that temptation, we no longer ask questions about whether we're doing it "right." We stop pestering our soul with questions like, "Am I pure?" "Am I holy?" "Am I good?" "Is my technique proper?" They all fade away. When the veil parts and we see love, the self-conscious watcher, preoccupied with doing it right, just forgets the self. After worrying that I don't know about myself, a lovely question then arises. Who cares? Prayer then is not finally self-observation, but rather to "fall into the hands of the living God."

(Ahhhh, the relief! After years and years, and decades of being told to "examine myself" I get instead to observe, and learn from what I see. No judgment, no condemnation, no shame! We're so terrified that we'll find wrath, and harshness, and condemnation when we look deep inside, that we're afraid to look -- not knowing that we will experience only LOVE. Love is all there is -- the strongest force in the universe! The very essence of God! The rest is our own illusions...)

- When the soul lives in that kind of security, we're no longer occupied with technique [or doctrine]. We no longer follow rituals and disciplines idolatrously. We don't condemn people who don't do it our way.

(Christianity has SO very much to learn from that last statement...! It majors in technique and doctrine ... in smug and self-righteous certaintude of correctness. In zealousness to convert everyone to the "right" way of thinking/believing/acting. Condemnation is a knee-jerk response -- as if judgment triumphs over mercy.)

- We are energized by what we see. And our private darkness is no great surprise. Who cares? Who cares where I am on the ladder of perfection? That's an egocentric question. "Where am I?" "How holy am I?" become silly questions. If God can receive me, who am I to not receive myself - warts and all?

(When you look inside of yourself, in this gloriously-messy human form that God intentionally breathed His very breath into - thereby inspiring you, are you energized, and delighted, by what you see? Can you see your own private darkness for what it is - a no-thing? Can you see the perfectionism-game for the silly snare that it is? Do you know, I mean *really* know, that God receives you? If you knew that, if you lived that, how would it change the way you see yourself, and all others? And God?)

Tomorrow, I want to splash around a bit in the concept of free will ... perhaps in a way you've not often heard before. And I reserve the right to go down some curiosity-seducing rabbit trails, should the rabbits catch my attention ... (I'll have to share some of my "God sends me bunnies as signs" stories ...!).

Shalom, Dena

Thoughts for a Friend ...

A sweet young friend wrote to me recently, in much fear and pain, asking for prayer for a physical problem. Certainly I can relate to being catapulted into a tailspin of fear and anxiety ... it goes with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness ... when all we can see at the end of the tunnel is a faint light (& even then, the fearful assumption can be that it's a train coming right for us!).

And YET -- I've been learning that I've got a much more profound role to play in my own life ...

I see much of what passes for faith in God to be merely a sanctified sort of fatalism ... a resigned victim mentality ... as if God is fickle and capricious, but that since He's the only option we have, we may as well oy-vey ourselves into compliant acceptance.

What if that's a product of our own imaginings, and not the design of a loving and lavishly gracious God...? What if that concept arises from our own ego (both individual and collective) and not from the intersection of spirit-and-Spirit..?

What if God really *is* good, and all His plans are good, and that we're invited into not merely cooperating, but co-creating with the God in whose (Creative) image we are designed..?

With all that in mind, I'll share what I wrote to my friend:

My friend - you are created in God's image ... that means you have incredibly powerful creative abilities within you. Your mind is a powerful tool. When you think negative thoughts, you are, in effect, creating negative outcomes, bringing them about in your own experienced reality.

When you choose to focus on fear and illness, you empower them, and even bring them into manifestation.

When you choose to focus on trust and peace, you empower them, and even bring them into manifestation.

God gives you this choice, and this glorious responsibility.

You have nothing to fear but fear itself ... God is good, His universe is good -- ALL things work together for your good. No exception. No matter HOW things appear to be, we are to judge *not* by appearances (how they SEEM to us at the time).

This is why we're to thank God in *all* circumstances ... you can (by your choosing) thank Him for all that is happening, and to thank Him for the solution that He is right now, at this moment, bringing to you. But if you dwell on the negative feelings (which are actually negative vibrations that you're putting out -- everything is energy, including all matter - study quantum physics to grasp this), you are drawing more negativity to yourself. Like creates like, and like attracts like.

You have a CHOICE. You are not a helpless recipient/victim here.

You can assist your body in behaving as it was created to, by choosing to think on the good things, choosing to believe that it's awesomely and wonderfully made, and that your body knows how to restore itself to balance ... for this is how God has designed it to operate.

Your mind affects your brain, which affects your body -- do you see the awesome part you play in this?

Change your thinking, and you change your perspective, which changes your experience.

It's our *minds* that need to be renewed (to become aligned with our spirits), and then our bodies follow...

Perhaps consider asking God why you seem so drawn to the drama/trauma of life ... ask Him to show you what's at the root of this ... your peace is at stake.

Much love!

Shalom, Dena

Which God?

Once upon a time, before I learned that questioning is vital, back when I believed what I was told by others, I believed in a god-who-posed-as-God. God created man in His own image, and then we returned the favor -- thus, god was created in the image of man ... with all of man's insecurities and limitations projected onto him. And so this god, sounded a lot like a human. In fact, he sounded a lot like a(n insane) man, courting a woman, "Oh, you are the one that I want! I love you, and I desire you -- I want you to choose me! I want you to be with me forever and ever ... you have one month in which to choose me in return, and if you make the wrong choice, if you choose to not love me in return, then I have no choice but to hunt you down, and torture you forever. So, please love me back, for your own good."

What sort of "love" would that be? Sure, she could choose, out of her fear, to go through the motions, but fear makes a lousy substitute for love.



I received this message today (& indeed I *keep* receiving this message, in a myriad of ways):

Words may help you understand something, but experience allows you to know.

Never, ever trade your own experience for someone else's words about anything that is really important.

Like God, for instance. Or love. Or what is true about another.

This is a simple awareness, but it comes to you today at exactly the right time. If you think about why, you will know.

Some claim that the conditional-god, the judgmental-god, the god who has needs, who demands that we do things a precise way, who set it up so that we were bent to fail (and thus be punished endlessly, and separated eternally), that that god is real -- and must not only be appeased, but he must be feared.

And this God, the God who has unconditional love, who needs nothing, who meets us where we are, who draws us to Himself (& indeed cannot conceive of Him, or know Him unless He does so), who teaches us through all our choices (& the resulting consequences), who has set it up that we all return to Him (for we are of Him) ... that that God is false ...

... and that there's a special punishment for those who claim that God is "too
loving."

I tried the former god for most of my life ... but I couldn't experience Him, I
could only experience the fear of his followers (which I believe was then projected onto their image of god).

The latter God is the one who drew me from the illusions of the former god, and has been leading me since.

I've got to go with the God I'm experiencing, rather than the god others tell me about...

Shalom, Dena