Exquisite Agony ...

Isn't it uncanny, how pain and love are so inter-related ...?

It's as if when the pain reaches its crescendo in me ... when I no longer resist it, but allow it to have full expression ... when I do not judge it, but accept it ... I am flooded with love and even gratitude for the experience.

I am SO grateful to no longer be a numbed-out woman, "safely" egg-shelling my way through life, but that I am living full-throttle, and risking ALL ...

I will never-ever regret having loved with all I am ... for giving all I had to give ... for baring everything I have ... and the unbridled JOY of having done so ...!

Even now, even while in pain ... I would do it all over again.

I am finding that joy is not "happiness" (which comes and goes) ... but that joy is the fullness of ALL emotions ...

Joy is the state of being fully human, fully ALIVE...!

Through my tears (of which I am not ashamed!), I say YES to life!


Shalom & Namaste ~
Dena

What-Iffing (One of My Favorite Sports ...)

What if *everything* that happens "to" me really DOES work together for my good?

What if there really IS a good/prosperous plan for my life, to give me JOY?!?

What if I really CAN be thankful in ALL circumstances?

What if everything that I experience/feel IS both required and valid?

What if everyone really IS doing the best they can, based on what they believe (& how they were imprinted/conditioned)..?

What if ALL of us are ONLY trying to find unconditional love (in a painfully conditional realm)?

What if ALL actions (even attacks) are really cries for unconditional love?!?

What if I could forgive myself, and all others, for all the misguided things we think/say/do in our desperate longing for unconditional love...?

What if I am being led, all the time, not by a "god out there, somewhere, who wants me to get it right," but by the very Presence that IS me (& everything/one), and is using even (& especially!) my pain/grief/shame/anger/confusion to enable my inherent-wholeness to be my experienced-reality ...?

What if the "secret" to experiencing unconditional love is to first give it to MYSELF, by unconditionally feeling whatEVER emotion comes up, without judgment, without trying to "fix" it...?

What if unconditional love is not something to "go get" ... but something to give and receive ...?

What if I can trust, not in my mental-story, but in that which is navigating me through whatever I experience? What if all is well, and I am ok...?

What if everything has a good purpose, no matter what I *think* about it?

What if my suffering is not due to what is *happening* to me ... but in how I RESIST what is happening to me...?

What if life is not about "how to feel better" but "how to get better at feeling"...?

What if ...?!?


Shalom & Namaste ~
Dena

I will love ...

Though I hurt
I will love
...And I will love
With all my being
All my heart
All my spirit
And all my soul
Though my heart
Is breaking
I will love
With each and every
Shattered piece
Though my soul
Is torn to shreds
I will love
With each
Tattered and torn
Thread
I will love
Until I die
I will love
For eternity
Whether anyone wants
Me to or not
It is what
And who I am
And my mission
On this crazy earth
So like it or not
I will love...

Michele Langlo

You Have Found Your Tribe ~ Welcome HOME

"You have found your tribe. Welcome HOME."

I've come to the place where I am way too weary to continue to apologize for who and how I am ... and what I've done ... and how I've coped ... and where I've been ... and where I am ... and where I'm going ...

I just AM.

And I trust it all ...

Even while grieving ...

TRUSTing.

Shalom & Namaste ~
Dena