Thursday, September 30, 2010

Law of Attraction - Throughout History

Law of Attraction is Universal, and every person is affected by it. And it is always true that what I think and what I feel and what I get are always a match, and there is not a person on the planet that did not know that when they were born, and there is not a person on the planet that would not benefit by knowing it. But many, many, many are not yet asking and therefore are not yet ready for the answer. And so, we would say that -- although everyone wants this information -- everyone is not necessarily ready for it. We would not spend any time trying to convince anybody of anything because if they're not asking, your answers are just irritating.

--- Abraham


Andrew Carnegie
I am no longer cursed by poverty because I took possession of my own mind, and that mind has yielded me every material thing I want, and much more than I need. But this power of mind is a universal one, available to the humblest person as it is to the greatest.

Henry Ford
Whether you think you can or can't either way you are right.

Alexander Graham Bell
What power this is I cannot say. All that I know is that it exists.

Winston Churchill
You create your own universe as you go along.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.

It is done unto you as you believe... As a man thinks in his own heart, so is he (atually Proverbs) ... ask and it is given ...

Albert Schweitzer
Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility.

Martin Luther King Jr.
Take the first step in faith you don't have to see the whole staircase just take the first step.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Albert Einstein
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

William James
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

The greatest revolution of my life is the discovery that individuals can change the outer aspects of their lives by changing the inner attitudes of their minds.

James Allen
Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.

Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.

Napoleon Hill
Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve.

Joseph Campbell
Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.

Wayne Dyer
I will see it when I believe it.

John Demartini
Whatever we think about and thank about we bring about.

Carl Jung
What you resist persists.

Robert Collier
All power is from within and is therefore under our control.

Max Planck
All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force... We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent Mind. This Mind is the matrix of all matter.

Bob Doyle
The emotions are an incredible gift that we have to let us know what we are thinking. It's really so simple. 'What am I attracting right now?' Well, how do you feel? 'I feel good.' Well good, keep doing that.

Charles Haanel
It is the combination of thought and love which forms the irresistible force of the law of attraction.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
The good news is that the moment you decide that what you know is more important than what you have been taught to believe, you will have shifted gears in your quest for abundance. Success comes from within, not from without.

Robert Collier
This is the greatest discovery of modern times-that every man has within him a particle of 'Creative Force.' Gain a mental attitude in which you are constantly expecting good. You have the fundamental right to good, you know.

Og Mandino
The only event in the entire world you can control is what you are thinking and feeling at the present moment-but that is enough! That's all you need to be able to control.

Circumstances do not make the man; they merely reveal him to himself.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Shameless Art Plug ...

For those who don't follow my art-blog, Serendipities by Dena, but who *may* be remotely interested ... I've got two upcoming shows ... would love to see anyone who's within the driving-distance ... or heck, fly in!

Charbonneau Art Festival
Wilsonville, Oregon
October 1 & 2, 2010

Local 14 Art Show
Foresty Center
Portland, Oregon
October 14-17, 2010

And if you've never checked out my art, go HERE.

Shalom & Namaste ~

Apologies to the Divine Feminine (& to Women in General)

This made me cry ... for I have experienced this, both personally, and collectively... and how I long for this breach to be mended ...!

APOLOGIES TO THE DIVINE FEMININE (from a warrior in transition) I apologize for my inability to distinguish the benevolent warrior from the heartless warrior, a reflection of my own confusion dealing with the battlefields of yore. When I opened my heart too wide, I was vulnerable to attack from warring factions. I was conditioned to believe that I had to stay rigid, focused, prepared for any eventuality, in the desire to protect myself and others from attack. But I went too far, and closed too tight, and eradicated the bridge between our hearts. I am seeing this now and I am sorry.

I apologize for my perpetual absence, a reflection of my own inner absence, my inability to connect from a heart jammed tight by unresolved emotions that I did not have the tools to work through. I still lack many of these tools, but I am open to their emergence. I apologize for my inability to distinguish relationship from war. Like a warrior in enemy territory, I would sneak in and out of your life in the night, plundering and selfishly taking what I needed, then crawling back to the other side of the abyss with the spoils. I gave little back for fear that I would become vulnerable to attack. I had war on the brain and I could not see the river of love waiting on the other side of the battlefield.

I now recognize that love is the antidote for the armoured warrior, but I could not drink the antidote in my driven state. I apologize for not seeing you, my eyes blinded by congealed rage and unshed tears. If it is any consolation, and I imagine it is not, I could not see myself either. I saw only that which served my hyper-vigilance, my warrior focus. My mirror was a battlefield. I apologize for my ungrounded materialism, my power driven tyrannies, my obsession with accumulation. Somehow I imagined that accumulation would protect me and those close to me, but I failed to recognize that it just perpetuated the madness.

I also apologize for my egoic abuses, a reflection of my own misguided ego, pumped up to deal with an inherently competitive world. I couldn't distinguish the healthy, confident ego from the cocky, unhealthy ego. I went much too far in the wrong direction.

I apologize for a sexuality that was objectifying and disconnected from the heart. I know you longed for real intimacy, a merging of our souls along the heart-genital highway. But there were too many defenses around my heart, and no bridge could form between our souls. There were moments when your loving ways freed me from my body masks, but I had no template to stand in that heart-fire.

I am sorry for this, for I know that the path you longed for was the path to God. I apologize for my horrifying acts of violence, a reflection of my own congealed rage, my own inability to distinguish real enemies from friends. There are no words that can undo what I have done in those moments of madness. I know this, I do. I would hide my face in shame, but that won't make things better. I need to own my misdeeds, and then find a way to believe in my capacity to move from a more loving place.

I call out to other male warriors to be accountable for the actions of our gender, not in a way that is self-hating, but in a way that is courageously self-honest and genuinely compassionate. The heartfelt warrior acknowledges the error of his ways, and has the courage to do all he can to make amends over time.

I apologize for my inability to develop a conscious relationship. You were right there with your beautiful heart on your sleeve but I was too attached to my individualism and afraid of this unknown terrain. I know the forests, the marketplace and the ways of the outer world so well, but my inner geography is foreign to me. You called me to a place I was ill-prepared to go, although I sensed, below the surface of my bravado, that you called me home.

I am grateful for your willingness to believe that who I was in those rare moments of vulnerability was the real me. You were right- the real me lives inside of my heart- but a few moments now and then was the most I could handle. I saw you as dangerous, for in your presence I began to taste a surrendered way of being. Nonetheless, your faith in my goodness kept me going through many a battle, and restored my faith in life when I most needed it. You were the light at the end of a barbaric tunnel, and I am blessed.

I am grateful that you stuck with me through thick and thin, and I also understand those times you had to give up and let go. I now recognize that there is meaningful difference between a love-ship and a relationship. Love alone is not enough. Without a shared willingness to become conscious, there can only be frustration.

I was so often impossible, clinging to my unconsciousness like a soldier clings to his weapons. I recognize the courage it took for you to keep your heart open in the presence of my resistance. You had every right to seek an authentic relationship, as your spirit was ignited in its presence. Your beautiful heart had every right to be met in its openness and willingness. I am grateful for the time you gave me, a moments respite from the hiding places I mistakenly called home.

I want to want you not because it gratifies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I want to touch you with my heart on my sleeve, to know chemistry between us that is not gender identified, but that is essence sourced, love's liquid lava flowing from the heart to the genitals to the great beyond. In this love-struck world, relationship will always be experienced as spiritual practice, a devotional expression of our God-self.

I had always believed that sensitivity is impossible to hold to in a harsh world. Yet in this moment, I feel sensitive, but without the fragility. I am still wearing armor but there is a shift in the direction of my intensity. I can linger in the heart-space a little longer than I once could, I am softening in places. After so many lifetimes with weapon in hand, a tenderling warrior is being birthed in the core of my being. He is confused, but he intuitively knows that this is the way home.

Please don't give up on me or my fellow warriors. Forgive us our misdeeds, or, at the least, be open to the possibility that we will change as the trail expands to meet our shifting intentionality. The day will come when our warrior spirit loses its harsh edge, and comes into alignment with benevolent action. Some of us are already there, and many more of us will follow. The road to transformation is dependent on a bridge between genders, a benevolent bridge that celebrates our differences with respect and kindness.

That work must begin with healing the rifts along the gender continuum, working hard to heal the collective heart until one day we can stand on a bridge across forever, hands held together, hearts open and alight, embracing the sacred masculine and divine feminine living at the heart of us all. I will meet you there.

May you feel the love of the Divine Mother crashing down on your heartfelt shores, graciously lifting you up above the madness of the world, nestling you in the grateful arms of those you have nurtured. Those of us who have received your blessings may not always acknowledge it, but your acts of love have landed within us, growing us stronger and infusing us with love's light. Thank you.

© Jeff Brown, 2010 (

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Awakening Code ...

Stumbled upon this ... and it so moved me ... it's stirring all manner of things in me. PLEASE watch this ... and pay attention to whatever gets stirred up in you.

Be open. Receive what you can. Put aside what you cannot yet receive. Ask to be prepared ... ask to be shown who you really are ... why you are really here, at this place, in this time ... it's not a random accident.

(& no, it's not really about Oprah ...!)

Shalom & Namaste ~

So, What DO You Believe..?

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many, or merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with your experience, then accept it, and live up to it.

There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.
~Soren Kierkegaard

Our beliefs are absolutely critical in our lives.

Not what we think we believe, or what we would like to believe, or what we think we should believe ... but what we REALLY (even subconsciously) believe.

What do we really believe ... about ourselves, about others, about our world...?

Gregg Braden shares,
Early in life we develop our core beliefs - basic ideas that we accept about ourselves, other people, and our world. They can either be positive or negative, life affirming or life denying. childhood experiences are often where our core beliefs begin. After repeatedly learning that we don't deserve this or that early in life, for example, we may develop a core belief that we aren't worthy of receiving. Because such perceptions are often subconscious, it's not unusual to discover that they weave their way throughout our lives in unexpected ways. so an unconscious core belief that we aren't worthy of receiving may play out as a lifetime of lack that shows up in love, money and success ... and even life itself.

Now, the cool thing is that a belief is just a thought that we keep thinking ... and even if it's subconscious, we can become aware of it, and even change it ... sometimes all it takes is for just one person to do something different ... in the presence of others, to go against status quo ... and when others witness a limit being broken, they can then hold the new possibility in their own minds ... and change their own beliefs.

But in order to do that, we often have to face one of our own most basic of fears: rejection.

Across cultures and societies, creation stories state that to become individuals in this world, we must "break away" from a greater collective family. At the same time, one of the deepest universal fears is just that: being separated and alone. For many people, it's their yearning to "hold on" to their families, their relationships, and memories of their past experiences that create the conditions that lead to their greatest suffering. If we can find a way to appreciate the moments we share with those we love, as well as feel good about our time together when it ends, then we will have taken a giant step toward our greatest healing.

At some point, we have to break away from the core beliefs that were put upon us by our families of origin ... in order to live long, healthy, fulfilling lives, we have to heal the limiting beliefs that lies at the core of our deepest hurts.

Let's look at how our deepest beliefs can affect our relationships. Answer the following questions for yourself:

Is it hard for you to love yourself first?

Do you feel it is unsafe to share your love with others fully and fearlessly?

Do the relationships that you invite into your life leave you feeling empty and searching for more?

If you answered any of them affirmatively, then it's likely that you experience hurt, disappointment, suffering, and betrayal. So, what unconscious belief could be in operation?

Here's what Gregg Braden says about that:

As diverse as your life has been, and as varied as all of your experiences may appear, there's nothing that's happened that wasn't shaped through the eyes of this single belief. Without exception, all of your love and each of your fears; all of the chances in life that you've had the confidence to take and all of the ones that you were afraid because you might fail; the health, vitality and youth of your body, the way you age; and the success or failure of every relationship that you'll ever have with another person, yourself, your world and the entire universe ... all of these things, and more, boil down to what you claim in a single belief.

And you can uncover what that belief is for yourself by answering a single question -- the Great Question -- below. The way that you do so reveals the truth of a powerful subconscious belief that lies at the heart of your existence. The question is this:

Do you believe that there is one source for everything that happens in this world, or do you believe that there are two opposite and opposing forces - good and evil - one that "likes" you, and one that doesn't?

Honest confession time here, folks. I would say that I consciously believe in one source -- a good source. HowEVER, the evidence of my own current sense of hurt, disappointment, suffering, and betrayal, tells me that I MUST, unconsciously, believe in the duality of two opposing forces.

Not fun to face, but good to know.

If I believe, at the core of my being, that life is a precious and rare gift ... to be treasured, cherished and freely explored with abandon ... then the world looks like, and is experienced like, a fabulous place in which to do that very exploring. I would feel safe in such a free exploration.

However, if I believe, at the very core of my being, that this is a dangerous world, then that belief will be embodied in my every day life ... showing up in my life path, my career, my relationships, and in the health of my body. And even when new opportunities are presented to me, I'll feel unable, unworthy, and afraid to accept them. I won't be able to take the necessary risks, I won't feel worthy of love that brings deep joy, and I'll then find myself settling for whatever feels like a "safe default".

It seems to me, that in order to be able to fully live this life-gift, in order to discover who I am, and what I am here to enjoy and experience, I need to BELIEVE, at the very core of my BEing, the truth about the nature of this universe, the truth about the nature of my own Self, in order to know I have the utter FREEdom to choose how to thus create my own life.

Beats the snot out of "there is only one right choice, and you must make it, or else suffer the punishment."

Shalom & Namaste ~

Monday, September 27, 2010

NIRMALA - A Short Fairy Tale About Being

Once upon no time, there was an infinite and eternal Being. Needless to say this was one big Being. Being infinite and eternal meant that no matter where or when it went, there it was. And of course, anything that big was made of empty space, as space is the only thing big enough to be that infinite.

While space is a wonderfully low maintenance thing to be, since it can’t be harmed, this Being still had a problem: There was no one else. Since it was already everywhere and every-when, there was no place or time for anyone else. It was not a horrible problem, but still there was no one else to talk to, dance with, or play with.

What’s an infinite Being to do? It can’t really just create lesser beings inside of itself as that would not be very interesting to an infinite Being. For a truly infinite and eternal being to create little lesser beings to play with would be like you or me making dolls to play with as an adult. There’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s not very interesting after a while.

Then it had a great idea! Being infinite meant it also had infinite potential, so rather than create lesser beings, it decided to create more infinite beings. At first this would seem impossible since there is the question of where would you put another infinite Being? There already is no space left over once you have one infinite Being. But the great thing about space is that it is completely empty as long as its pure space or pure potential, so two spaces can actually occupy the same space!

That was the solution! So Being created an infinite number of infinite space Beings just like itself. In a sense, Being cloned itself. Now, rather than having just a wind-up doll version of a Being to relate to, it had real, fully amazing infinite Beings like itself to relate to.

Even better, it quickly discovered that as long as one of the infinite space Beings stayed “home” as infinite space to hold the endless universes in place, then all the rest were free to contract into all kinds of shapes and sizes. In fact, all a Being of infinite potential has to do to contract into a different shape or size is think about it, and voilà it happens! That's the power of infinite potential!

Now not only could all these infinite Beings hang out as one very big space (which of course really meant hanging out as one Being, since two spaces in the same space are really still just one space), they could also play at contracting into all kinds of lesser expressions of their infinite potential.

Now why would they want to do that? Why would something infinite want to experience being less than its infinite self? Well remember these Beings are not only infinite, but also eternal, and eternity is a very long time! That means they all had a lot of time to kill. What does it matter if you spend a little time experiencing yourself as less than your complete potential, especially if you can do an entire eon standing on your head and still have all the time in the world?

And so Being, as many Beings, was now free to talk, dance, create, and play in all kinds of crazy wonderful ways because now there was someone else to talk, dance, create, and play with. Party time!!!

Ever since, it has been discovering all the different things it can identify with and temporarily become and all of the truly strange and amazing things it can do once it has become less than itself. Infinite space can’t really play soccer or be a super nova or fall in love or have its heart-broken or create a new universe or fly a kite when it's expanded into its original nature as infinite space, but if it contracts into a form or expression of itself, then it can do all of that and more!

So that is what it's been up to ever since, and it's really just getting started, since it still has so much time on its hands; the rest of eternity is still a very long time. That is also why it's so amazing to relate to others: because it is never some lesser incomplete being across the table from you. It is always an infinite Being with infinite potential that you are talking to or playing with. No wonder they are so convincing in their role as an apparent separate individual. It is really God playing that role. There are only Gods upon Gods upon Gods being everybody and everything and doing everything that is done! That is what we all are.

Pretty clever solution if you want to have some fun —don’t you think?

Shalom & Namaste ~

Fear-Based (& False!) Pesky Core Beliefs

So, I've been thinking a lot about fear ...

Mostly because it keeps smacking me up upside the head.

Well, no, that's not how it comes to me ... it sneaks in wherever I happen to be most vulnerable at the time ... it enters wherever I'm weak, slithers through my body, working its way to my heart ... where it declares its presence with a cold, slimy, bottomless-pit sort of pronouncement -- like a cross between a maniacal laugh and a sinister whisper.

And just to be sure it's gotten my attention, it permeates my whole body ... with chills, tremors, paralysis, and weighed-down muscles -- not to mention rushing doomsday-thoughts.

Now, the worst sort of fear is the nebulous sort. I mean, fear makes sense, and is even rather handy, when it warns you about an intruder, an oncoming truck, a snarling dog, or a snake about to strike ...

But when it's of the free-floating anxiety persuasion ... well, then it's hard to diagnose, much less to deal with.

Here's a real-life, and current example: to the best of my ability to discern, I've been plagued, for as long as I can remember, with the fear of making a decision.

Yes, this opinionated, feisty, stubborn, tenacious and obstinate woman is afraid of making decisions. Specifically, the fear of making the *wrong* decision.

And ... I've been wondering why this is.

AND ... I think I had an aha-moment-of-insight about it today.

So, bear with me as I ruminate outloud ... to see if I can put my primordially formulating thoughts into typed-out words.

Quite honestly, I believe that this is due to my fear-of-God hang-over. Fear was the background music of my early life ... whether real, or just my childhood impression, the threat of punishment loomed over me regularly ... there were many ways I could break the rules, and I seemed to manage to do so quite regularly. Now, this is not to blame anyone ... we all give what we received ... we pass on that with which we are most familiar. We all do the best we can, with what we know at the time.

Still ... I was quite familiar with fear -- it would be fair to say that it was my baseline "normal" state of being.

Then came the introduction of God into my life ... and make no mistake, this was a fearsome God. This God actually commanded, and demanded, that I fear Him. And, to ensure that the fear would be real, lifelong, and effective, the threat of endless torment in hell, for those who behaved/believed wrongly (i.e., those who "made the wrong decisions") was the lynchpin for the deal.

The message was clear to me, in a plethora of overt and covert messages: MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, OR ELSE SUFFER PUNISHMENT!

So, life became a frantic, frenetic frenzy of trying to make sure that I made the RIGHT decisions ... by adhering to the following guidance:

~ Do what you're told by those who are in charge.
~ Conform to what those in charge expect of you.
~ Follow all the rules.
~ Don't think for yourself.
~ Don't trust your heart/feelings (for they are deceptively wicked).
~ Don't ask questions (this indicates rebellion).
~ Don't challenge authority (this is outright rebellion).

In other words, "you'd better get it right, but you can't trust yourself to know how to get it right, so be safe by just doing what you're told, what's expected, and then you won't be punished."

Fast-forward a few decades ... I've worked through that view of God ... no longer believing in hell, or that God has anything to do with fear, or that we're here to be obedient, or that there's any sort of absolute sense of right/wrong, or that conformity is the purpose of life.

In other words, I no longer THINK this way.

And YET, this nebulous fear sneaks up on me, on a regular basis ... so something else, beyond my conscious thoughts, is in operation here.

This tells me that it's a core belief ... something implanted in my subconsciousness when I was young, likely before the concrete-reasoning age of 7, when I was like a little sponge, soaking up whatever I was given ... this was not my own belief ... it was one that I inherited, and it's one that is no longer serving me.

Here's what Gregg Braden says about the foundations of our beliefs, in his book, "The Spontaneous Healing of Belief":

Estimates are that upwards of 90 percent of our daily live are directed from the subconscious level. Our success and happiness, our failures and suffering, our physical conditions ... and even our life expectancy have all been linked to our subconscious beliefs. And usually the most damaging ones begin early on, as we allow the experiences of other people to become the template for our own.

Studies have shown that until the age of seven, our brains are in a hypnogogic or dreamlke state, where the mind is absorbing everything it can about our surroundings. During this time, we're literally like little sponges, spending our days soaking up information about the world around us with no filters to tell us what's appropriate and what's not ... we pay the price for dealing with life from such a quick and reactive place -- especially when our reactions are based on the beliefs of other people that we learned to mimic early in life.

What we really believe (subconsciously, rather than what we think we believe consciously) is being mirrored back to us in the form of our most intimate romantic relationships, friendships, businesses, and careers -- and even in the condition of our health. The world is nothing more and nothing less than a reflection of what we believe, both as individuals and collectively, consciously and subconsciously.

Our most troubling beliefs aren't even our own -- but have come directly from our caregivers.

Looks like a nasty and unavoidable set-up, no?

So, what to do with these pesky (& false) core beliefs that haunt us, and rule our lives, unconsciously...?

How can we let go of what aren't even our own beliefs, so that we can freely choose to believe what works for us, for our lives now...?

More on that ... next time!

Shalom & Namaste ~

Sunday, September 26, 2010

We Become What We Think About ...

Timeless wisdom from Earl Nightingale ... author of "The Strangest Secret."

Here's an excerpt
from his teaching on the concept of "we become what we think about."

I LOVE this statement of his: "The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it's conformity."

Later, I'll be sharing an insight I got today ... about fear.

Shalom & Namaste ~

Balance, Balance, Wherefore Art Thou, O Balance..?

From Treya Wilbur's journal:

I am feeling an opening in my being
Feeling an opening between my head and my heart,
My father and mother,
My mind and my body,
My male and female,
My scientist and my artist,
One the feature writer, the other the poet,
One the responsible eldest father, taking after her father...
The other the playful explorer, adventure, mystic.

Yes ... this speaks to me.

I'm on the brink of something ... having been catapulted out of one thing, transported through another thing ... and released, on the verge of the unknown.

Oh - and someone forgot to give me the map.

And yet ... I sense an inner-compass ... which I'm trusting becomes more clear.

I'm sensing an inner-shifting in me ... a sort of healing ... an integrating, perchance a (dare I say it?) balancing. I'm a woman in search of ... how to describe this ... a purpose ... a lifting of the fog to reveal my life's work. On one hand, it's been happenING ... on the other hand, there's more to be birthed. The Greeks had a word for this ... one's "daemon." In Greek mythology, this meant "a god within". The inner divinity ... the guiding spirit, also called the "genius" of a person ... that which knows. It's also synonymous with one's "destiny." Or ... one's higher Self ... that which *knows* it is one with God (everything/everyone is ... but ignorance prevails).

Treya writes:
I haven't found my daemon, the work I deeply want to do. Sometimes I think my real problem is that I just don't believe I could ever get really good at something, that I have an inflated idea of how good others are, and that maybe by the time I'm fifty that will have been cut down by experience to match reality and I'll then know I could be good enough.

Wellllll ... I turn 49 in about three weeks, so I have just over a year to receive this Jubilee Year Enlightenment ...!

She continues:
I need to learn how to read the depths of my being, find my own guidance and daemon. I don't want to live without some kind of faith in a higher purpose. I don't want my own bitterness [over her own experience and suffering] erode my sense of the sacred and the meaningful in life, but use it instead to deepen the need for those explorations and understandings... To continue on that path I need to find ways to get in better touch with my deep psyche, the inner principle of ongoing personal growth. That is as close as I can get to God within me, learning to understand and follow that is the same as hearing and obeying God's will. Going within and getting in touch with the deepest, most true part of oneself ... getting to know it, nourish it, let it grow more mature ... invest it with power (recognizing it as the inner God) ... and developing the will to follow that inner direction ... the ability to test its truth and the faith and courage to follow it even when it contradicts the rational mind of our consensus reality ...

So that's my task now.

On the whole, this experience has felt like an invitation to live more fully, less tentatively.

I couldn't have written that better myself ...!

Ken adds his perspective:
In addition to learning how to take control and assume responsibility [for one's own life], a person also needs to learn when and how to let go, to surrender, to go with the flow and not resist or fight it. Letting go versus taking control -- this is, of course just another version of being versus doing, that primordial polarity of yin and yang that assumes a thousand different forms and is never exhausted. It is not that yin or yang is right, that being is better than doing -- it's a question of finding the right balance, finding the natural harmony between yin and yang, that ancient Chinese called the Tao. Finding that balance -- between doing and being, controlling and allowing, resisting and opening, fighting and surrendering, willing and accepting -- finding that balance became the central issue...

Wondering ... would I recognize balance if it rose up (as I swing from one extreme to the other) and smacked me in the face ...?!? :)

Something tells me that I'm smack-dab in the middle of learning what it means to be balanced ... but in my own, Dena-oriented way ...

Shalom & Namaste ~

Saturday, September 25, 2010

There She Goes Again - Getting All Transparent ...!

Disconcertingly, and to my great amazement, and even amusement, I have become, seemingly, a very emotional woman.

Somehow, when I wasn't looking, much less controlling the evolution, I morphed from Queen Anal-Izer (formerly Princess Ice-ness), into Woe-and-Wonder-Emoting-Woman.

Seriously. I cannot get through the day lately, without gushing into tears-of-joy, or tears-of-pain - with little to no warning. Troublesome, that. I'm thinking that eschewing mascara would be an obligatory response ... or to just start telling folks that yes, indeedy, I am an extra for the local "Thriller" dance troupe, and must remain, continuously, in eye-blackened stage make-up.

I just finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love" ... a book I so thoroughly enjoyed (and which was SO uberly timely), that I didn't want it to end ... I read the last paragraph one sentence at a time ... getting up to play the piano, or to pee, or to go outside and pace a bit ... just to streeeeeetch it out. But, alas, I did finally read that last sentence, and put it aside with a heavy sigh ... only to look up and see the book that awaited me next: Ken Wilbur's autobiographical "Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilbur" -- Treya was his wife, and his long-awaited soulmate ... who was diagnosed with cancer only months after they met (and days after they married) ... and who died a few painfully transformative years later. Yeah, I'll be sharing from this book ... as this is my blog, and right now I'm using my blog to explore my own life ... (vague apologies to those of you who come here for either entertainment or enlightenment ...!).

Which, of course, this book is all about (the exploration and enlightenment of a life - not so much the entertainment - though Ken Wilbur has been known to crack a joke or three).

Funny how we find what we need in life (notice that I didn't say "want"), just when we need it. I had no clue where I would be now ... when I heard about this book, six weeks ago ... and then hunted it down ... and found it ... in the used book section of Amazon ... only to have it arrive yesterday ... as it took the slow boat from ... Ohio.

I cannot recount the number of times I've been reading these soul-impacting books, reading along (often just for the purpose of desperate distraction) ... only to have a particular passage so strike the depths of my heart with a resonancy that fills me to overflowing -- so that I cry out in recognition of what my soul knows ... but had never before expressed ... body-tingling, tears-gushing, heart-soaring, recognition -- every fiber of my Being responding (even outloud), "yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!"

Ohhhh, the bittersweet joy of having been heard and acknowledged! To know that I am not alone in what I've undergone in my life ... to know that others have not only experienced the same things, but have put them forth in words that ring articulately true ... I cannot tell you the sense of belongingness that this brings me!

I have felt quite, as in very, as in downright agonizingly, UNbelonging-anywhere-or-with-anyone lately. And, I'm beginning to get the distinct impression that this is intentional, and even orchestrated ... and absolutely necessary ... at this stage of my life-journey. It seems quite clear to me that I must, at all cost, discover who I am, and why I am here ...

For most, if not all, of my life, I have felt like the perennial outsider .. an alien being ... one who never quite fit in ... a social misfit ... an emotional aberrant, one who thinks-too-much, questions-too-much, feels-too-much (all of which was nearly systematically shut down in order to survive) ... is just too-much, period. It doesn't take much for the feeling of being "other-than" to turn into "there's something wrong with me, and so I will either dazzle you with my conformity, or else shock the snot out of you with my rabid rebellion."

Because, heaven forbid, I should be "different."

Different means, "not in agreement with" ... "outside the camp" ... "potentially dangerous."

All my life, I've been the recipient of one form or another of the following request (demand): "please get in line." And, I have nearly died, both literally, and metaphorically, from trying to do so.

So ... when I find evidence of other life-refugees, I feel a tremendous sense of relief, a joyous recognition, almost a home-coming ... "ahhhh, someone else from my tribe!"

I can count, but only on one hand (& perhaps only on a couple-three fingers), the number of real-life humans, with whom I've felt that rare and powerful sense of connection ...

And I have been finding that in the books I've been reading lately ... solace at this time of loss of one of those rare connections ... for these books speak of great loss, of the soul-shattering sort ... and of transcending that shattering ... not by circumventing fear and confusion, but by plowing straight through it ... even if that plowing looks more like one hesitating and trembling baby step at a time ...

Here are some passages that spoke to me ...

"I am immeasurably more, and immeasurably less, because of her presence. Immeasurably more, for having known her; immeasurably less, for having lost her. But then, perhaps every event in life is like that: filling you up and emptying you out, all at the same time. It's just that, it is oh-so rare that such a one is with us, and thus the joy, and the pain, are all so intensely amplified."

"The single most astonishing thing about her -- is that she had almost no split between her public and her private selves. She harbored no 'secret' thoughts that she was afraid or ashamed to share with the world. If you asked, she would tell you exactly what she thought -- about you or anybody else."

"She could be obstinate; strong people often are."

"When we first met, we had the strangest feeling that we had been looking for each other for lifetimes ..."

"Virtually every one of the great pioneers of modern physics ... were spiritual mystics of one sort or another ... The essence of mysticism is that in the deepest part of your own being, in the very center of your own pure awareness, you are fundamentally one with Spirit, one with Godhead, one with the All, in a timeless and eternal and unchanging fashion."

"My connection with her [Treya] continued to deepen, if that were possible. We were way, way, way 'beyond physics'! Love is a time-honored way to transcend the separate-self sense and leap into the sublime; Treya and I held hands, closed our eyes, and jumped!"

[From Treya, shortly after her cancer diagnosis] "Why me?" was a question that soon lost its punch. "What now?" replaced it.

[From Treya's journal] "I wanted -- and needed -- for this experience to have some meaning and purpose. The only way that could happen with any certainty was for me to act 'as if' it did, to imbue it with meaning through my own thoughts and actions."

Enough for now -- I'll share more as I read more ...

Shalom & Namaste ~

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Search for the Divine

(Taken from "Eat, Pray, Love" ... I love what Elizabeth Gilbert shares here ... deeply resonates with my soul!)

"The search for God is a reversal of the normal, mundane worldly order. In the search for God, you revert from what attracts you and swim toward that which is difficult. You abandon your comforting and familiar habits with the hope (the mere hope!) that something greater will be offered you in return for what you've given up ...

"...Faith is a way of saying, "yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding." There's a reason why we refer to "leaps of faith" -- because the decision to connect to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable ... and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational, it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed in the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life, and the nature of God, and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would be ... a prudent insurance policy.

"I'm not interested in the insurance industry. "

"Every religion in the world has had a subset of devotees who seek a direct, transcendent experience with God, excusing themselves from fundamentalist scripture or dogmatic study in order to personally encounter the divine. The interesting thing about these mystics is that, when they describe their experiences, t hey all end up describing exactly the same occurrence. Generally, their union with God occurs in a meditative state, and is delivered through an energy source that fills the entire body with euphoric, electric light. The Japanese call this energy ki. The Chinese Buddhists call it chi/qi, the Balinese call it taksu, the Christians call it The Holy Spirit, the Kalahari Bushman call it n/um (their holy men describe it as a snakelike power that ascends the spine and blows a hole in the head through which the gods then enter). The Islamic Sufi poets call that God-energy "The Beloved" and wrote devotional poems to it. The Australian aborigines describe a serpent in the sky that descends into the medicine man and gives him intense, other-worldly powers. In the Jewish tradition of Kabbalah this union with the divine is said to occur through stages of spiritual ascension, with energy that runs up the spine along a series of invisible meridians. [Hindus call these the chakras.]

"St. Teresa of Avila, the most mystical of Catholic figures, described her union with God as a physical ascension of light through seven inner'"mansions' of her being, after which she burst into God's presence."

"According to the mystics, this search for divine bliss is the entire purpose of a human life."

"God dwells within you, as you."

"To know God, you need only to renounce one thing -- your sense of division from God."

I am an antevasin. It means, "one who lives at the border ..."

In ancient India, it was a literal description ... a person who had fled the frenetic center of communal-village life, to go live at the edge of the forest where the spiritual masters lived. So, the antevasin was no longer one of the villagers ... no longer one who could just live a conventional life ... but neither were they yet a "transcendent one" ... one of the fully-realized ones. The antevasin was one who lived "in-between" ... a boarder-dweller. Living within sight of both worlds, but always looking towards the unknown ... and always the scholar.

As Gilbert describes,
"you can live there ... you can live on that shimmering line between your old thinking and your new understanding, always in a state of learning. In the figurative sense, this is a border that was always moving -- as you advance forward in your studies and realizations, that mysterious forest of the unknown always stays a few feet ahead of you, so you have to travel light in order to keep following it... and so, I'm just a antevasin -- betwixt and between -- a student on the ever-shifting border near the wonderful, scary forest of the new."

There are those who say I must choose what it is that I believe and settle there. I think I not only have every right, but every responsibility, to pick and choose what works for me, as I go, as I grow, as I expand and evolve. I am drawn to what speaks to my soul, what moves my spirit, and what reminds me of what I long-ago "forgot" ...

I take whatever works for me, for now, from wherever I find it, and continue to move toward the Light, walking in the Light I've already been given ...

I find that the ways of God, of Source, of Providence, of the Divine, are infinite... and how astonishing, really, that the Infinite would be ... well, infinite!

Shalom & Namaste ~

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

An Ode to Gooey-ness - a Revelation of Transformation

Oh my GOODness...! I have so, so, so, SO much that I want to share, and all at once!


Ok, I'll have to just dive in, and let it sort itself out (and it won't all fit in one post) ... it all fits my life, and it's all amazing, and it's all so very uberly-confirming of where I am, and what's unfolding, and how I'm being led!

LOVE it!

First ... dunno what, dunno how, but something has begun to shift in me in the past 36~ish hours ... there-bouts. Maybe it's because I have succumbed to reading novels -- ok, not quite novels, more like memoirs. Specifically "Pray, Eat, Love" ... which, really (& even as over a dozen complete strangers have told me in recent months), is just a rehashing of my life, 'cept she didn't have eight children (she didn't have *any* children -- maybe I had some of hers?), and she's blonde, and now has a best-selling book ... but still it's my life, in the same kamikaze (& did you know that word means "divine wind"?), unconventionally irreverent, and oh-so-dramatically-obscure rendering of the very thoughts that are in MY own head, not to mention the events that have comprised my own life (minus the trips to Italy/India/Indonesia)..!

It's all I can do to resist the temptation to spend the next umpteen weeks blogging nothing BUT quotes from this amazing book. But, I shan't do that. Besides, I already did that, on my Facebook page, after just seeing the movie (which pales in comparison to the book, but which will do in a pinch, if'n you're not inclined to actually read the book for yourself).

Anyway ... I first noticed that I was not utterly despairing of the fact that I had actually woken up in the morning. And that I didn't continuously hit that snooze button on my alarm, so that I ended up sleeping the better half of the day away. And that I was feeling hungry ... for food ... and (dare I say it without jinxing it?) ... hungry for life. Specifically my life, as opposed to someone ELSE's life -- preferably someone who was not also experiencing the drama-trauma of heartbreak. AND hair loss. Nothing quite as depressing as being abandoned AND bald. Ok, maybe being abandoned, bald and decapitated -- yeah, that would be mildly more depressing (though it would solve the hair-loss problem, and, come to think of it, the depression problem, too).

And then I noticed that I was actually putting away three weeks' worth of folded laundry. Into drawers. Where they belonged. And I noticed that I felt better for having done so.

And then I noticed that I wanted to floss -- always a good sign of emerging self-esteem.

And then I noticed that I noticed the roses ... even smelled 'em. And these are heirloom, 100-year-old rose bushes ... so that the roses actually have a scent. Not like those modern, uber-beautiful roses that beckon you to come closer, tempting you to plunge your nose into the luxurious and decadently-seductive folds ... only to smell ... nuthin'. Makes me want to decapitate THEM.

So, I noticed these things ... and I noticed that I was crying less, and my sighs weren't quite so deep ... and I was breathing more easily ... and I was walking faster, even holding my head up ... and I noticed that I look good (damn good, really) when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror ... and I noticed that I actually feel some eagerness ... dare I say, even excitement ... about my life, about what's happening ... and I'm coming to understand what's happened ... what's happenING, and why. And it's even pretty cool, really, in that cosmic/karmic, universally-transformative kinda way... And I notice that I no longer feel so desperately UNsafe, no longer quite believing that the universe-at-large has conspired to utterly DUPE me, and is now laughing at me behind my back, as if I'd fallen for some practical joke, at the expense of my soul.

I notice that I actually believe that there is a larger/grander purpose for all that's occurred ... that it matters, that it has profound meaning, and that I'm not, contrary to a cacophonous chorus of opinionators, "obsessed," "addicted," or "insane." :)

And y'know what? I am an amazing woman. I really am. I mean, I like me. I have a lot to offer ... to myself, to others. To the world at large. I have a purpose ... a destiny, even. And it's not been thwarted ... it's only been enlarged and enhanced and exPANded, by all that I've experienced.

And I ain't done yet.

Not by a LONG shot.

In fact, I've only just gotten started ...!

I know that I will not only be OK ... I will shine.

By golly, I think I'm sparkling, even now...

Now ... I may well dissolve into a puddle of tears within an hour. But that's ok ... I've loved deeply, and I'm still grieving ... but I'm no longer hosting daily dirge-fests with the likes of Despair, Despondency, and Depression. I served those dudes their eviction notices, and they packed up their bags, and slunk away. If they show up at your house, tell 'em you don't entertain proselytizers, MLM-sales-reps, or usurpers.

I'm a woman in the very thick of an astonishing transformation. I am, actually, the very goo in the midst of the chrysalis. Yup. I am. En route to breaking out of my confinement, emerging as the butterfly I'm meant to be.

Tomorrow, I'll share a bit of what I received in an amazing consultation with a guy who specializes in transformations wrought by intense relational connections.

Perhaps only for my own sake ... perhaps for more than that.

For now, I think I shall sparkle my way through the unloading of the dishwasher ..!

Shalom & Namaste ~

P.S. My girls are watching "Princess Diary II" ... and this song just came on ... I don't believe in coincidences ... take in the lyrics, but for me, metaphorically ... pertaining breaking away from my old perceptions, into the new:

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Personal Follow-Up to Yesterday's Article ...

I'm currently going through a life-transformation.

Challenging, to say the least ... painful in ways I didn't previously fathom.

Many of my (few remaining) friends are concerned ... which, I understand.

I'm concerned.

This conversation is currently happening ... and since it allowed me to clarify and formulate some of my own thoughts, I thought I'd share.

My friend wrote this:

"Dena - GOD just spoke to me to tell you how you can get your life back -

Jesus said, "Whoever loses his life for My sake and the Gospels will find it." - (Mt. 10:38-39, Mark 8:34-36, Luke 9:23-25)

I love you."

Now, I have often found it interesting, that, in the realm of Christianity, God/Source seems to prefer to speak to other people, rather than to the person who needs the speaking-to ... there's this seemingly prevailing view that second-hand communication is preferable to direct communication ... leaving one (or at least me) wondering, "why wouldn't God care enough to talk to me personally?"

This seems to foster a dependency upon others at best (something I'm being led *out* of), and a domineering hierarchy at worst ... as well as a distrust in one's own inherent ability to commune with one's own Creator/Source. It also goes contrary to the very words of Jesus (whom, I no longer believe, ever intended to inspire or create a religion in general ... much less Christianity in particular), when he emphatically said that the realm of God (or the "foundation of power of the Source") is within you.

Here's my response:

Thank you for loving me and caring about me ...

I see Jesus quite differently than I once did ... I think the traditions of man created what most Christians now believe about him ... I don't see him as the "savior of the world" because I no longer believe that we ever had anything to be saved *from* -- except for our faulty thinking, i.e., thinking that we had somehow become separated from the Source of All Life, or God.

I also don't trust how the Bible was tinkered with ... I think some of the older, less altered writings (i.e., Gospel of Thomas, etc.) are more reliable ... but, even then, they are penned by humans ... I believe, ultimately, that we have to hear Spirit speaking to us, through us, by means of the heart, intuition ... that which is within. For the realm of God is within us, not outside us ...

and the ultimate gospel/good-news, is, I believe, that we are One with God -- always have been, always will be ... we come from God, we return to God ... all of the universe is a hologram of God -- there is nothing but God.

I believe that THAT is what Jesus came to tell us, to show us, that we are all like him. We just don't realize it yet.

So ... yes, I need to find my Life (in/of God and true inner Self -- one and the same), by losing my ego-perspective life ... that which erroneously believed/believes that I can find joy outside of myself, in any other person, relationship, situation, circumstance, or place. In reality, we can only truly enjoy relationships with others when we know who we really are, and experience that inner-divinity ... and flow to another from that place of inner-security.

So, we may be saying the same thing in essence -- but I no longer see/think of this in religious/Christian terms ... which I find to be very limiting, and even damaging, as the myth of separation is perpetuated through Christianity.

Yes, I believe all that I just wrote. But ... I must apparently also believe something else, for I am experiencing suffering. I'm discovering (really, I've always known, I'm just now deeply *experiencing*) how we can have hidden, (false) core beliefs ... usually those things we "inherited" from our parents/caregivers, in the first 7 years of life, when we were like absorbent little sponges ... soaking up the perspectives/beliefs of those around us ... as-yet-lacking the means to discern truth, or to filter deeper reality ... and most of us continue to live, throughout our adult lives, subconsciously, FROM those very beliefs ... double-minded, in how we SEE the truth in what we take in, and yet cannot overcome the force of that which is unconsciously, unknowingly, unquestioningly at our CORE.

IOW, what we think in our minds cannot overcome what we believe in our hearts.

We need to discover what it is we really believe, and question THAT, and live from a deeper place of freedom.

(for more on this, see Greg Braden's powerful book, "The Spontaneous Healing of Belief")

Shalom & Namaste ~

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Purpose-Guided Universe: Believing in Einstein, Darwin and God

Felt led to share this ... so ... voila!

The Purpose-Guided Universe: Believing in Einstein, Darwin and God
by Bernard Haisch

evolutionarymystic | September 19, 2010 at 2:40 pm | Tags: Book Review | Categories: Awakening, Awareness, Cosmology, God, Metaphysics, Spirituality, Transformation | URL:

Imagine a pyramid made up of stacked basketballs. Picture it a thousand feet on each side and a thousand feet high. That’s twice as high as the real great pyramid in Egypt. That’s as tall as a hundred-story building. To stack such a pyramid would require about a billion basketballs. It’s a big number.

Rounding off to the nearest billion, we live on a five-billion-year-old planet in a fourteen-billion-year-old universe. Our sun is one star amid a few hundred billion others in the Milky Way Galaxy. Our Milky Way Galaxy is one of a hundred billion or so other galaxies in the visible universe.

That’s a lot of billions.

Given this large-scale picture of things, how could there be any purpose in any man or woman’s brief life, amounting to perhaps eighty years or so on average, on one obscure planet? That is a question that matters a great deal to most of us.

As noted physicist Freeman Dyson said in his Templeton Prize lecture:

The greatest unsolved mysteries are the mysteries of our existence as conscious beings in a small corner of a vast universe. Why are we here? Does the universe have a purpose? Whence comes our knowledge of good and evil? These mysteries, and a hundred others like them, are beyond the reach of science. They lie on the other side of the border, within the jurisdiction of religion.

Is there a purpose behind the universe? There are two diametrically opposed answers coming from the two camps of science and religion, ensconced on opposite banks of the stream of life. In my view, neither is satisfactory, which is why I propose a third. But first the two opposing views.

There are those who believe in God. In the United States, the percentage of the population falling in this category has hovered around 90 percent for decades. The purpose of life for most believers is clear. It is to live the kind of life that will merit the reward of entrance into an everlasting kingdom of heaven. There, presided over by a heavenly, grandfatherly patriarch, with the able assistance of an angelic bureaucracy, choir, and legion of saints, the righteous will live in eternal bliss. Given the limited human attention span and the propensity to always want the latest and best, it is hard to see how the eternal-heaven business can actually satisfy the clientele for that length of time, that is, forever. One might worry that eternity could possibly become tedious. Still, that’s the reward, and it’s better than life down here . . . putting the eternity issue aside.

But you had better be careful, because one life chance is all you get in this view. Given the wide disparity of life circumstances and influences, this one shot at getting it right for all eternity may not seem fair. And indeed, I propose that it is most certainly not. That is one reason why I will suggest a more plausible and humane alternative.

On the other side are the secular humanists, meaning those who dislike and reject the idea of a God, who scoff at such a make-believe purpose as getting into heaven. Unfortunately, what they can offer in its place in the way of life purpose is rather limited.

The English poet Francis Thompson wrote: “An atheist is a man who believes himself an accident.” That does seriously limit the options available for the purpose-of-life question. Life merely for the sake of living is a risky philosophy that could logically lead to nothing greater than an objective of achieving maximum wealth and pleasure here and now. Some people in this camp do come to this conclusion. Fortunately though, most have no less altruism than the believers — perhaps even more because there is no expectation of a reward in the afterlife for doing good here. The problem is that in this view all purpose is ultimately transitory. Recall Nobel laureate Steven Weinberg’s, “The more the universe seems comprehensible, the more it also seems pointless.” Unfortunately, that would carry over to us individually as well.

The purpose I propose that life has is a grand one, and even, I think, a logical one: We are the means whereby God experiences his own potential, and this is why the universe has some of the amazing properties conducive to life that it has. Making the analogy of God as a vast bonfire, we are candles whose tiny flame is the same fire. We are sparks of God living in a physical universe of matter and energy, in which we are able to experience things, make things happen, live and love and climb up or ski down mountains and enjoy operas or rock concerts — take your pick.

The adventures we literally live out were merely possibilities existing pregnantly in the infinite intelligence that is God prior to the creation of the universe. You might think of the universe as some of God’s thoughts, his daydreams. With the right combination of thoughts — the laws of nature — providing the basis, a universe capable of hosting life becomes possible. God then enriches himself by living through all the life-forms that the universe can provide . . . us included. Why shouldn’t God get to enjoy the World Series or the Super Bowl or the Indy 500 through the enthusiasm of us fans? Of course, first you have to dream up a universe. God can do that.

In this view, heaven is not a place; it is a state of reunion with God, from whom our consciousness has temporarily and deliberately separated itself to make physical existence and all its richness possible. The purpose of life is to let God make his own potential real. And of course, this cannot be limited to human experience. God in this view seeks the experience of all living things on this planet and wherever else life might exist and whatever else it might be like.

Kaballah scholar Daniel Matt writes in his God and the Big Bang:

In the beginning, there was Existence alone — One only, without a second. It, the One, thought to itself: “Let me be many; let me grow forth.” Thus, out of itself, It entered into every being. All that is has itself alone. Of all things it is the subtle essence. It is the truth. It is the Self. And you are that.

Or from a much more ancient text from India cited by Matt:

He manifested Himself as creation. It is He alone who is born into the world. He lives as all beings; it is only Him everywhere.

Let me be clear. This has nothing to do with so-called Intelligent Design. In the view I propose, Darwinian evolution is essential for fulfilling God’s purpose. The unpredictability and novelty afforded by evolution is absolutely necessary; otherwise, existence would be a preordained puppet show. It is the peculiar character of the universe itself — an issue that has come to the fore in astrophysics — and its origin in the big bang which I attribute to an infinite intelligence, not the microengineering of life-forms. It is, in fact, a more impressive feat of intelligence to dream up a few essential laws that can give rise to a universe in which life can evolve, than it would be to tinker around designing creatures like Santa in his workshop.

* * * * *
Reprinted with permission of the publisher from The Purpose-Guided Universe© 2010 Bernard Haisch. Published by New Page Books, a division of Career Press, Pompton Plains, NJ. 800-227-3371. All rights reserved.

Bernard Haisch, PhD, is an astrophysicist and author of The God Theory and more than 130 scientific publications. He was a scientific editor of Astrophysics Journal for ten years and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Scientific Exploration. His professional positions include deputy director of the Center for Extreme Ultraviolet Astrophysics at U.C. Berkeley, staff scientist at the Lockheed Martin Solar and Astrophysics Lab, and visiting scientist at the Max Planck Institut für Extraterrestrische Physik in Garching, Germany.

( Sequel to THE GOD THEORY. Video discusses why it is possible to believe in both science and God, a God that is compatible with the Big Bang and evolution. Is there a plausible purpose behind the Universe consistent with modern astrophysics?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Contemplating Life on a Sunday ...

Some messages that have come across my path today:

"Hear our call to embrace your life as we embrace you. Live every moment fully alive, savoring every feeling, experience, and deed, for it is through you that your eternal life becomes known."

This one is a huge challenge to me today ... living fully alive in this moment of pain ... savoring the pain, embracing the pain ... such a tall order! And yet ... I sense the truth of it. And what choice do I have? Either I allow this pain to diminish me, limit me, and thwart me ... or I dive headlong into it, fully experience it, and allow it to have its transformational way with me. And so, I yield, tears streaming down my face ... pain encapsulating my heart ... arms opened wide to All That Is, saying, "Help me, and have your way with me!"

"When we want to move beyond the pain, when we want to feel better, when we are ready to move beyond where we are, emotionally and spiritually, we must forgive.”
~Iyanla Vanzant

In the midst of this pain, I feel an inward smile ... see? I hadn't yet read this, when I wrote the last paragraph above ... and here is my answer. And I do - I forgive. I did so immediately, when I first received the blow, because what else can love do? And yet, I recognize that forgiveness is a process ... that each and every time I'm rushed with another wave of pain, I forgive, again and again ... I send love and light ... I allow my heart to be grateful for the memories, the experiences, the love and joy that transformed and enlarged me. And I can even allow myself to be in eager anticipation, at the prospect of experiencing such love and joy again ...

This is the work of my life. I have much work to do ...

"You know, no matter what your dream is, no matter what obstacles you face, all success, healing and transformation begins in the same way for everyone - with an inner shift. An inner shift is simply a new way of looking at things. It can appear as a question you never asked before, a new perspective on an old situation or belief, or a possibility you never before considered. How do you create those inner shifts? You stay open to new information, inspiration and opportunities to integrate what you learn into a new way of living."
~Sonia Miller
Life Coach
(Dallas, Oregon)

An inner shift. Yes. This I know. A new way of looking at things ... I'm open to this. I *need* this. I cannot stay where I am, as I am ... the pain won't let me. This pain is a catalyst for my growth ... remaining IN it, engulfed by it, is not an option ...

I've learned SO very much in recent years, particularly in recent months ... profoundly life-transformational shiftings. And yes, it needs to be integrated into a new way of living ... so, I am open. Show me, lead me, guide me ... I ask this of my own inner Self ... that which is connected to (& One with) All That Is ... I dare to trust again ... I dare to receive ... I dare to live.

I lay bare this aching heart, these trembling arms, this seemingly-shattered life ... and I dare to go on. I dare to grow.

Shalom & Namaste ~

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Energy Healing/Psychology

I had an amazing experience today, meeting with a renowned energy psychologist, named Mary Hammond ... quite a remarkable woman! She's a pioneer in the field of energy psychology ... and she lives in Salem, Oregon ... just a 30 minute drive from where I am! But, of course...!

She's written this book, "Living Your Soul's Purpose: Wellness and Passion with Energy Psychology", which is used for training by many in the energy field. Her healing approach, developed with two other psychologists, is Dynamic Energetic Healing. She travels the world, teaching this, showing others how to use this to heal the hearts/minds/souls of other hurting/limited human beings. The goal being our fully operational wholeness -- to KNOW who we are, and why we are here -- and to live that out, in full confidence and joy!

I shouldn't be at ALL surprised that it answers the very questions I now find myself facing, and needing to answer within myself:

Why am I here?
Who am I to be with?
What is my ideal career?
How am I to take care of myself?
Why was I born into my family?
How am I to serve my community and the world?

Take a look at her website, to see all that she offers, for training. I KNOW that I'm meant to be trained for this ... I KNOW that this is part of why I'm here, at this time, in this place ... for a bigger purpose which I've only tasted on the edges ..!

After hearing a bit of my story, she looked me square in the eye, and said, "you have been through more foundational change in the past five years, than most folks make in an entire lifetime! I am honored to meet you ... I am excited to see what your purpose here, at this time, turns out to be. But, for the next week, do NOTHING. Just breathe and BE. No changes!"

OK then ... breathe and be, breathe and be, breathe and be ...

So, on the one hand, there is this broken heart ... and on the other hand, there is this growing excitement ... and something tells me that they will both occupy space within me, for some time to come ...

Clarity is assured ... as is Love.

WHAT that looks like, and HOW it manifests ... well, we shall see ...!

Shalom & Namaste ~

[and this was far more exciting than being carded at the liquor store today ... but you'll have to read about that adventure on my Facebook page...!]

Friday, September 17, 2010

About Fear ...

First, watch this (short, 2:20) video, by Gregg Braden.

I ask (myself and you): Do we have the courage to face, and overcome, our fears, and thus become prepared to live Here and Now, at this close of the age of Egocentricity, this Shift of the Ages, or will we allow the fear to keep us in a limited and limiting place ...of disempowerment ..?

Will we cooperate with being enslaved to our own conditioning, and thus miss why we came to be here at this time/space juncture? Or will we dare to risk all we think we know, in order to become and experience all of who we are...?

I ask myself ~ do I have to courage to do this...?

Here's more on fear (part four of a five-part video blog):

Shalom & Namaste ~

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thoughts for Thursday ...

So, today I found myself visiting the chiropractor ... because the chiropractor's receptionist called me, to remind me that this is Thursday. Quite nice of her, really ... 'til I realized that she wasn't just being informative, she was reminding me that I had spaced my appointment ...!

That keeps happening.

This is your brain.

This is your brain in grief.

[envision a big, blank screen]

So, I skedaddled my way there ... and, en route, I noticed a formerly closed building in town, sporting a sign that read, "Dallas Health and Vitality Center" ... including yoga and massage.

Perhaps, perchance ... Reiki...?

So, I stopped there afterwards, even though it's not yet open, and rang the bell, even though it appeared that no one was there ... a woman appeared, a woman who isn't supposed to be there, and doesn't usually answer the door, except that she was and she did ... and within 5 minutes we realized that we have much in common (including a penchant for Abraham-Hicks, alternative healing modalities, art, life experience, and a need for new connections -- particularly in this uber-conservative/religious little town).

Bottom line -- we will explore this connection, and see what may come of it ... perhaps including Reiki, and helping to paint the place into a gloriously magical fantasy-land. Meanwhile, I'm showing up tonight for an impromptu yoga class -- something I've been wanting to do.

And THAT follows the many messages that came my way this morning, which I shall now share:

“Old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.”

I accept the gifts of change.

I let go of the old year and look forward to the new with an open heart!
I seek to love more, to learn more to share more and to shine my unique light into the world in service.
Guide me in the direction where my “divine” abilities will be best used for good.
I am available to You, use me Source of All!

Very timely for me ... yes, I let go of what was, and accept what is ... and eagerly anticipate whatEVER is to come ...!

(even as I acknowledge that I am grieving, and that grief must run its course ...)

"When you do not question what will be,
you allow yourself to be present with All That Is."

Hmmm... I'm a-sensing a theme here...!

Look deeply inside a rose. See the center of the rose and the beauty that lives within. Inside your center is a similar beauty. The Tao is eternal and it is inside each and everyone of you.

Is you understand that the Tao is inside everyone, how can you discriminate? If you understand that the Tao is eternal and everywhere, how would you lead? What kind of leader would you bill? Will you recognize everyone as yourself. How long will it take you to know this? Only one moment, once you find the Tao.

Inside MY center is a similar beauty ... and THAT is what I am focused on discovering, realizing, and living-from ...!

"One learns to accept the fact that no permanent return is possible to an old form of relationship; and, more deeply still, that there is no holding of a relationship to a single form. This is not tragedy but part of the ever-recurrent miracle of life and growth. All living relationships are in process of change, of expansion, and must perpetually be building themselves new forms...Because it is not lasting, let us not fall into the cynic's trap and call it an illusion. Duration is not a test of true or false...." ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from Gift from the Sea

Yes!!! ALL relationships are in process of change...! I welcome that. To refuse to change is to die. I am here to LIVE! to THRIVE! To discover who I Really Am, and to live that fully. And no, I will most certainly NOT call what I've experienced, enjoyed, and found enthralling to be an "illusion." I know better.

On this day of your life, Dena, I believe God wants you to know...

..that when we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.

Helen Keller said that, and she was right. There is a situation in your life right now where you are being asked to do your best, your very best. Maybe it is in finding forgiveness for another. Or is understanding something that you just haven't been able to understand. Or in accepting what has to this point felt unacceptable.

Whatever that situation (and you know exactly what it is right now)...are you doing the best that you can? If you are, so be it, and good. Yet if you think you might do better, allow this little nudge today to be your gift from the soul. A miracle awaits if you will reach back now and do your very, very, very best in this.

Yes -- I can attest that I AM indeed doing the very best I can, in this situation that I am wanting to understand ... and in accepting what has felt unacceptable. But, I'm willing to do my very, very, VERY best. This shall NOT be wasted ... I WILL learn, and I WILL expand. I AM open to all that is good, beautiful and HAPPY coming into my life ...!

Ordinary activities will be a bit trickier than usual, leaving you with only one choice: improvise. Stop obsessing about what seems to be a lack of options. Focus on the most bizarre, outrageous solution possible -- it could very well end up being the right one.

The way you usually do things just won't work now. Your only option is to think of something new -- which won't be a problem

Even if you've always worked a certain way, you'll need to rethink that now. Try what you've only dared to think of before. Bet it works -- and gets you noticed, too.

Ok then ... I shall focus upon the bizarre and the outrageous ... the new ... and that which I've only dared to consider before...! Fastening my seat-belt ...

You know those people, Dena, you sometimes feel you're waiting for? I mean new friends and connections, agents and directors, customers and clients, publishers and producers, dear hearts and darlings. Well, they're actually just waiting for you... to make some serious room for them in your life.

Do stuff, Dena, little stuff, lots of stuff, prepare the way... and don't even think of stopping until you're dining with them at The Ritz.

The Universe

P.S. "Room Service? Hi. It's me again, Dena Brehm. That's right, in the Penthouse Suite. If you wouldn't mind, could we please have another round of desserts, some more wood on the fire, and, uh, some new springs for the trampoline?"

OK, made me laugh, and even snort...! Especially the trampoline-part. Yeah, I'm doing stuff ... all manner of stuff. As I'm led. Trusting as I go.

I WILL get clarity ... my life WILL unfold for me.

I will *KNOW* ...!

Shalom (& Namaste) ~

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Messages on a Wednesday ...

Just sharing some messages that managed to find their way to me today ...

"To hear the calling of another's heart,
is to honor the calling of your own to join in love as one."

I believe this. I do. I just can't feel it right now.

"Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant."
~Anthony D'Angelo

I embrace and lean into change.

The more things around us change,
the more we realize that You/I alone are constant.
You/I are the source, strength and peace.
When the circumstances of our lives seem foreign,
we turn within and connect with Your/Our peaceful presence.
We embrace the process of change by opening our minds to the flow of divine ideas.
We trust that every change brings fresh opportunities for living the love that fills us.
I am grateful for wisdom, guidance and direction.

I so badly need this ... I need to move into this understanding ... I need clarity. I need peace, and relief ... what I know for sure is that I cannot go on like this.

I need some serious help -- not opinions, not "here's what worked for me," not diagnoses ... I need specific, personal, direct, resonating clarity.

I can only trust that I will be guided into it ...

Shalom, Dena

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Best I Can Do, Today ...

Today, the pain is unrelenting. So far, nothing brings relief. But I can't give up ... can't live here in the thick of this.

So, I'll share some things that speak to my heart, even if only giving me a smidgen of hope, that it won't always feel this bad, this raw ... that I can, and will, come to see all of this from the higher/deeper perspective.

"Know that you cannot fail to accomplish
the one dream that lies at the center of your heart—
a peace that surpasses all understanding
and washes away all sense of suffering and separation."

If there's something you want, Dena, anything at all, or if there's something you need, no matter what it is, or if there's something you'd like to change, please remember that all the bells and whistles of time and space were first hewn and blown in the windmills of one's mind, long before they were ever dung or heard by hands and ears.

Whatever you dream of, live it, live it now, as fully as possible, to whatever degree you can, in your thoughts, words, and deeds. And sure enough, as day follows night, as rains fall from pregnant clouds, and as melodies float from bells and whistles, your dream will come to pass.

It's a sure thing,
The Universe

P.S. I know, I know, Dena. Dung should be "rung." But "dung" just kind of wrote itself... and made me laugh.

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving."
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

[edited to add this late-entry message ... which gives me uncanny hope ...]

On this day of your life, Dena, I believe God wants you to know...

..that it would not be beneficial to believe your
Mind on matters that are very important to you.

Your Mind can base its conclusions only on Past Data that it has collected during your present experience of Physicalization.
It has no knowledge of things existing through all Eternity.

In order to access data having to do with Who You Really Are, and why any particular thing is occurring, you would have to have access to data from outside your present Time Line. This data is only accessible through your soul.
It appears in your life as a "knowing." Trust this.

The only direction I know right now, is forward ... one teensy baby-step at a time ... into the dark ... which is better than the feeling of having been pushed over the cliff ... and free-falling.

So, I accept that improvement.

It's the very best I can do, for today.

Shalom, Dena

Monday, September 13, 2010

Fear and Courage ...

Note to self:

"It's been proven that the only effective way to deal with fear is to walk through it, through the pain that accompanies doing something you're afraid to do. It takes courage to fulfill your commitments, courage to stay on track, courage to follow your dreams, courage to reach your goals, and courage to walk through your fear. Remember, reaching goals is not so much about doing big things when the feeling hits you; it's more about doing little things every day that move you toward your dream. It's about staying steady and on course."
~Francine Ward

This speaks to me -- to where I find myself in my life.

In many ways, I'm like a twenty-something ... trying to figure out who I am, what I want, and what my life is to look like. I find myself on the brink of rethinking everything ... remodeling my future, after my life-plans were suddenly upended.

I've moved 25 times in my life ... have been all over the planet ... have experienced various cultures ... and yet, I've never lived alone ... never been independent, never known autonomy.

I've always been taken care of ... always given away my power ... always lived a dependent life. So, have I ever really *lived*...?

I'm in the thick of awaiting clarity ... trusting that it will come ... that I will *KNOW* what's next for me ... and that I will have the courage to do it.

Fear lurks about, taunting me with a never-ending plethora of "what if's" ... whispering that I don't have what it takes to live without known-security ... tormenting me with threats of dire consequences if I make the "wrong choice" ... (apparently no one has yet informed Fear that I no longer believe in "right" and "wrong").

And I'm reminded of a quote from "Eat, Pray, Love":

"The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving."

I trust that I'll know what's truly thinkable, and even possible ... and even necessary.

But for now, until I can think straight, until I have the strength, until I have clarity -- it's time to heal. And so I pursue that whole-heartedly, with all that I am.

Shalom, Dena

Two and a half months later ...

There is absolutely NO way that I could adequately describe what has transpired since this last blog post ... I would have to display my heart wide-open, to share the intense joy (unlike I've ever known), and the following devastating despair (unlike I've ever known), that I've recently experienced.

I've lost much ... so very much. Including a friendship I thought I could *never* lose. I'm still reeling from from what feels like the unthinkable ... the unfathomable.

Soul shock would be an apt way to describe it.

And I stand on the brink of discovering what's next for my life.

After many days of waking up, wishing I hadn't ... and somehow managing to struggle through the motions of each day ... I've decided that I can no longer live this way. Intolerable pain is just ... well, intolerable.

Problem was, nothing that I tried was working to alleviate the pain ... not sleeping, not walking, not reading, not singing, not talking, not meditating, not painting, not therapizing, not distracting, not sobbing, not numbing-out, not EFTing, not Abe-ing ...

SooooOOOooooo, I went and did it. I plunged into a Reiki I course, this past weekend ... and I am now a Reiki I practitioner... able to do Reiki healing on plants, animals, and family/friends - and self. When I'm done with Reiki II (not sure when that will be - there are a couple of future options for me), I'll be able to actually do this "professionally." Incredible.

Actually, the entire weekend was incredible ... I had two Reiki classes to choose from, both held at the same time ... I went with my intuition, and chose one (this master was trained by the other teacher). AS it turns out, I was the *ONLY* student. All the other participants dropped out, for various and assorted reasons, on the day of the class ... giving me the rare opportunity to have a one-on-one Reiki training. WOW...! The things I learned ...

I LOVE how it fits with everything else I've been learning, about energy healing, for the past several months. Turns out I'm only 7 degrees away from Dr. Usui, the founder of Reiki. You can learn more about Reiki here.

The master says I "have promise" ... a good touch, good energy, that I'm an open conduit, and that I have obvious compassion ... and she was well aware of my voracious hunger to reach out to others who are hurting, in various ways. This IS my passion -- my dream -- it always has been.

I'm going to be checking out the possibility of being mentored/apprenticed by a woman who has written an amazing book on several energy healing modalities ... so that I get to experience, and be trained in, as many as I'd like ...! SO excited! She's internationally know, but lives right here in Salem, Oregon -- who knew?!? I have an initial appointment with her -- to explore the possibilities. Take a look at her book.

Because I was the only student, I had the unprecedented opportunity to receive a good deal of healing, for myself ... in fact, the master sensed my heavy grieving when we began (though I was silent), and she invited me to share my story ... something I was in sore need of doing (my grieving is seen as "illegitimate/invalidated" by many around me). Her insights were invaluable ... and I was infused with an uncanny sense of hope. My story isn't done, not by a long shot ... and I know I can indeed trust my heart ... and, I know that what I've experienced is beyond-priceless ... I wouldn't trade it for anything. I regret nothing. I treasure every moment. How could I regret the joy I've known ... and even the pain, which only expands my capacity for love...?

I feel as if I'm continuing on the most amazing journey ... discovering who I am, and why I'm here (& I KNOW that I am here, at this time, in this place, for a mind-blowing purpose) ... and it all coincides with what I've experienced, what I've read (currently reading, and have almost finished, "Anna, Grandmother of Jesus," which meshes beautifully with what transpired this weekend, in the Reiki training -- but of course...! ;)

I am *not* here to live a normal life ...!

I'm still grieving ... and I will honor this process for as long as it takes. I've lost something that is precious to me. But I know life goes on ... and I know that MY life is only just beginning, in so many ways ... there will be many transitions in whatever lies ahead ... challenges to face, healing to walk out, fears to be faced and stared down. Latent strengths to discover ... rich fulfillment to be experienced ... and yes, love, joy and passion to be fully experienced. I can no longer, not ever, settle for less.

I will soon find out what I am made of. Whether I have what it takes to live out my own convictions, to pursue my own dreams ... to lay aside convention, in order to allow, and receive, and give myself full *permission* to live the life I came here to live ...! Embracing all, and everyone, who matters ... no exclusions.

I eagerly anticipate how my life is continuing to unfold ... and I trust that Love, not fear, both guides me, and wins.

Shalom, Dena