Sunday, October 16, 2011

Ummmm ... Remember me...?

HOW many blogs, I wonder ... begin, every so often, with the phrase, "it's been a long time since I blogged" ...?

Well, here's another one of those.

I cannnot begin to fill in the uber-changing details of my life here ... but, suffice it to say that I have experienced great bliss, and intense pain, and more change than I thought I could endure, in a rather short expanse of time.

I am here.
I am breathing.
I am living.
I am learning.
I am experiencing.
I am surviving.
And I take it on faith that I am thriving ... even when it would appear/feel/seem otherwise.

And ... I have missed blogging. So, for today, I am blogging.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

A friend showed up on Facebook, and shared one of her poems with me ... it was one of those "wow" moments, for it fit with something I saw, in my mind's eye, years ago ... read on:

Oh Divine Weaver,
I would not
have expected
You to use
the threads
of pain and
suffering in order
to weave a tapestry fit
to be your
covering.

You work so
silently in
the stillness.
I can never
quite catch
you at the
loom.

But I look
at this Heart
and
I Know,
I Know,
this is the
work of
your skillful
hands.

Who could
weave so
skillfully,
so compassionately,
so tenderly
as to not
tangle those
rare, and delicate
threads?

I only have eyes
to see the
underlayer -
quite messy it appears,
but I trust
that a work
of magnificent
beauty
is in the
making.

~Joan Burtner


Years ago, while in the very beginnings of this undoingness ... I remember having a "vision/image" of being on the underside of a huge tapestry ... it was being woven, above me, and I was watching. I knew it was about my life ... the problem, from my perspective, is that from "down here" it looked like a MESS! Tangles, and snarls, and knots galore ... and I could NOT, not even while squinting, make out the pattern ... it made NO sense to me. But then I knew, intuitively, that from the other side, from the "higher" vantage point, it was a work of art ... a very intentional, beautiful, even breath-taking tapestry, that was my life. Today, after not connecting with Joan for some months ... she showed up, and shared this poem ... and I am reminded ... and I am grateful. At least for this moment, I can rest in that gratitude.

Thank you.

3 comments:

Harry said...

Good to 'see' you again, Dena:) The agony and the ecstasy are showing you who you really are by showing you who you're not, and it seems to be a very intensive course you've set yourself.

But then I think you know that in your very heart, when you embrace your inner tortoise:) When you get where you're going you'll thank all this stuff, 'cos it's been your most loyal friend.

Keep creating and recreating, 'cos you're the weaver, the weaving and the tapestry, and I'll see you again a few stitches down the road somewhere.

Namaste:)

Dena said...

:) Nice to see YOU Harry!

Oh yeah, to all you wrote...!

Harry said...

All the best, Dena. I know you'll find what you're looking for, and you'll do it in the inimitable 'Dena style':)