One of the best things that ever happened to me, to our family, was getting kicked out of church, almost 5 years ago. That's a long story -- perhaps one I'll share here some time ... but for now, suffice it to say, it was one of the most painful, and yet most
liberating, events of my life. It was the catalyst for SO very much freedom.
I've worked through a lot of the pain, the judgment, the bitterness, and the damage that happened then - letting go of unforgiveness was critical. Unforgiveness is like eating rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. Doesn't work. Eats away the "unforgivee's" insides.
We're no longer participants in institutional churches ... and though we've been meeting in our home, in a "house church," for over three years now, we no longer call it "church." Church comes from the Greek word "ekklesia" ... which means "the called-out ones." The calling out already happened ... now we're just followers of The Way - who is Christ.
I noticed pretty quickly, that while one can quickly get out of the institution, it takes a FAR longer time to get the institution out of us. The teachings, the unspoken beliefs, the covert mindsets, all of those show up for a long time. It's like being deprogrammed ... and it can feel like a death, before it feels like Life.
What I most dislike about "what calls itself church" is the teaching of separation from God ... and the separation from each other ... it trains us to think in terms of "us vs. them".
(It's my observation that the "Christian thing" is to judge and condemn. That's what Christians do best. It's evidenced by our incredible lack of unity ... divisions within divisions within divisions ... which we've used to justify separation, slander, and even death, to those we deem to be "them".)
I observe that the most accepting-of-others folks are quite often those outside of Christianity. There are many people following Christ, who are not Christians. And there are a myriad of folks calling themselves Christians, who do not follow Christ.
"Christian" was first a derogatory term ... and it is to me, today -- I do not call myself a Christian, in most contexts.
There are other things I inherited from "church" ... such as the teaching that we cannot trust our hearts (wherein Christ lives, via His Spirit!) ... that we are inherently evil ... that we have to *do* something to remedy this problem.
(But I also notice that whenever there's an urgent need, human beings act with incredible assistance for one another ... without thinking, they respond with unselfish honor, self-sacrifice, and deep compassion.
Why, then, do we believe the human doctrine that man is basically evil..?
I see that when we think
out of our egoic natures, we do indeed demonstrate selfishness that progresses to evil ... but when we respond from our deepest selves, good comes forth... and so I see that we're incredibly confused ... believing lies ... erring ... in need of having our minds renewed - so that they match up with our good hearts.)
And yet we're recipients of God's promise that He would exchange our hearts of stone, giving us hearts of flesh. I see Jesus praying, "Father forgive them, for they don't know what they're doing!"
The doctrine of the "evil heart" negates the Atonement ... which I notice occured,
in God's reality, from the foundation of the world...
(Which is also when we were
chosen ... "You didn't choose Me, I chose you.")
Methinks that our minds are filled with all manner of misconceptions about God, about ourselves, about others ... but I see evidence that God is rectifying all of that ... we *can* have our minds renewed (& thus be transformed) as our lies are replaced with His Truth ... the Spirit IS leading us into all Truth.
God is that good...!
Shalom, Dena
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