Saturday, November 7, 2009

Exposing the Ego ~ Relationships ..!

I'm in great need to write this post ... to share what I'm learning, as part of what it takes for me to breathe this in, and internalize it ... and make it *mine*.

Hopefully it's not an utter waste of time for anyone who happens to be reading this...!

I find this utterly fascinating, and so very true ... and I want to get it with all of my being ... for I know that I know that I know that I'm meant to live this way... and I confess that I'm finding it to be a huge challenge, to live out what I'm learning ... to apply it to the relationships I'm experiencing ... and yet, that's what I'm here to do.

Let the UNdoing continue!

Here's a quote from A Course in Miracles, which I've recently begun to read, and to do (the daily exercises):

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. AS you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.

Victor Hugo, in "Les Miserables," wrote, "To love another person is to see the face of God."

I don't think that's mere sentiment ... and perhaps it explains why so few of us can attest to encounters of the God-kind ...

In every relationship, in every moment of every day, we teach, learn and demonstrate either love or fear. It all boils down to one or the other, no matter how cleverly disguised.

Relationships exist to return us to God -- from Whom wee imagine ourselves separated.

See if this rings true for you: our perception of others becomes a battleground between the ego's desire to judge their "appearances", and the Spirit's desire to accept them as they are. The ego seeks out fault -- the Spirit seeks out true innocence. What we see will depend upon what lens we are looking through.

And, we will see in others those things we do not wish to see in ourselves ... but the places in us where we deviate from love are not our sins, but our wounds. God doesn't seek to punish us, but to heal us.

And He desires that we would see the "sins" in others as their wounds, too ... and join Him in desiring to bring them healing.

I'm seeing forgiveness in a new light ... the old way said, "you have offended me, sinned against me, but I shall rise above you and forgive you ... though I may not forget ... I may never truly trust you again ... for now I know what you are capable of."

The new way is saying, "I imagine that you have offended me ... I am imagining that there is sin, that there is separation ... so I'm seeing in you what is in me, but what I am blind to ... you are offering me a gift, enabling me to see what's harming me unawares, within me ... so my forgiveness is an acknowledgement that only love is real, and offense is in my egoic mind ... I see that you and I are the same ... wounded ones in need of healing ... and so I extend to you the very kindness, compassion, and love that I most need for myself."

Forgiveness, as I'm learning, is seeing beyond the "offense" into the true nature of the other one, seeing only love there, and recognizing that all attack is a cry for love. Whether I receive love or an attack/call for love, my response can only be love, if I'm in my right mind.

My prayer can be, "God help me to see this person through Your eyes, and not my ego's eyes." I want to see as God sees, think as God thinks, and love as God loves.

My ego will attack and defend ... (& defense is a form of attack -- hard one to face!). My ego wants walls and divisions ... my ego will seek for those to support me in my egoic stance.

I'm recognizing, after I stop resisting, that the ones who most hurt me are my greatest teachers ... they show me the limits of my ability to forgive ... and I need to see this in myself, even as I don't like looking at it. But as I refuse to see God in another person, to that degree do I remain blind to seeing God within me.

Do I want to be right, or happy...?

I notice that when I'm treated with grace ... when others extend understanding, compassion and forgiveness to me, I respond in kind. I notice that when I extend this understanding, compassion and forgiveness to others, they respond in kind. I notice that meeting an attack with an attack only escalates the ego in both of us.

Now, if only I can remember that, while IN an egoic situation...!

If only I can keep that in mind when my children's' egoic-squabbling gets to that level wherein my own ego is engaged..!

My lucid moments need in invade my real-life experiences...! Help!

Maybe that's it ... maybe I can just top mid-reaction, and cry out to God, "HELP! My ego has taken over and I can't see my way out!"

What if I could remember that people are not what they say, and they are not what they do ... what if I could see past that appearance, into who they really are, and respond to THAT...?

What if I could connect with the truth of each person, and accept them in that light, even if they're not in touch with that truth about themselves...?

What if I could keep in mind that all attack comes out of fear ... that they're really calling out for love...? What if in doing so, I could remind them of who they really are?

What if I could learn to live this way ...?

Shalom, Dena


Jeannette said...

Doesn't it all seem like such hard work. Many times I wonder what the hell the point of it all is. I'm still struggling with whether or not I even believe in God and just where that's heading. I'm just so so so tired... tired of the struggle, tired of life beating me up, tired of other people's crap, tired of watching other people succeed while I still work my ass off and get nowhere.

MysticBrit said...

Jeannette - first, one great big soul hug to you. Life can suck. Remember though, that God doesn't require you to believe in him before he'll love you. God really is Love, period.

There's no standard you have to achieve, except being yourself, totally, and your words say that you're doing just that. And that is worth infinitely more than all the 'success' you see around you. Go with that. Shout at God if you need to. Beg him to show you what's real in life, 'cos I assure you that's exactly what he wants to do, and is doing even now.

And may you come to a true peace, where your heart is at rest.


MysticBrit said...

Dena - I think it's all summed up in this from the Conversations with God series -

I have sent you nothing but Angels

That just knocks me out with its utter simplicity and gobsmacking Truth.

Dena said...


Yes, it does indeed *seem* like the very hardest of work. Exposing and dismantling the ego (the "imposter within") requires bravery, persistence, and effort. The best work we'll ever undertake, for it touches on everything else ... we are either in sync with our ego, or the Spirit, at every given moment. The ego would have us believe that it's a battle, that it's "too hard", that it "won't work" ... it's not the Spirit that's telling you right now that it's hopeless and futile ... the ego has a vested interest in keeping you stuck. Depression is one of it's tools.

It's the Spirit that's motivating you to speak out ... to reach out ... to give an honest voice to your fears. We have to face what's going on before we can even see that we have choices.

For me, part of the healing was to fire the "old god" ... the one taught to me via the collective egoic consciousness of man. You know, that demanding, angry, disappointed, impossible-to-please "god" that's really just a projection of the mass-ego.

Who wants to keep believing in that insanity? We should become an atheist to that "god"! AISI, the Spirit of God is causing you to question and reject that false image of God...

Let the real God reveal God to you ... in the way you need ... in the way that works ... in the way that fits with who you really are.

And, what if you could redefine "success"...? What if you are succeeding, only you don't yet recognize what you're here to accomplish..? What if you're right on time, unfolding and blossoming in the perfect way, unlearning what needs to be unlearned, and beginning to grasp that there's something beyond the mesmerizing insanity that others think like is about...?

What if your life only *seems* to be falling apart, and is really finally falling together...?

What if you could see past the appearances of things, and see what's really going on ... what if it made you gasp in awe, and smile with wonder...?

What if the real you is perfect, complete, utterly loved and accepted ... and your exhaustion is only the fruitless effort of trying to match up to the false standards of the confused masses around you...?

What if you're meant to wake up, and to infect others with your awakenedness...?