Hopefully it's not an utter waste of time for anyone who happens to be reading this...!
I find this utterly fascinating, and so very true ... and I want to get it with all of my being ... for I know that I know that I know that I'm meant to live this way... and I confess that I'm finding it to be a huge challenge, to live out what I'm learning ... to apply it to the relationships I'm experiencing ... and yet, that's what I'm here to do.
Let the UNdoing continue!
Here's a quote from A Course in Miracles, which I've recently begun to read, and to do (the daily exercises):
When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. AS you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.
Victor Hugo, in "Les Miserables," wrote, "To love another person is to see the face of God."
I don't think that's mere sentiment ... and perhaps it explains why so few of us can attest to encounters of the God-kind ...
In every relationship, in every moment of every day, we teach, learn and demonstrate either love or fear. It all boils down to one or the other, no matter how cleverly disguised.
Relationships exist to return us to God -- from Whom wee imagine ourselves separated.
See if this rings true for you: our perception of others becomes a battleground between the ego's desire to judge their "appearances", and the Spirit's desire to accept them as they are. The ego seeks out fault -- the Spirit seeks out true innocence. What we see will depend upon what lens we are looking through.
And, we will see in others those things we do not wish to see in ourselves ... but the places in us where we deviate from love are not our sins, but our wounds. God doesn't seek to punish us, but to heal us.
And He desires that we would see the "sins" in others as their wounds, too ... and join Him in desiring to bring them healing.
I'm seeing forgiveness in a new light ... the old way said, "you have offended me, sinned against me, but I shall rise above you and forgive you ... though I may not forget ... I may never truly trust you again ... for now I know what you are capable of."
The new way is saying, "I imagine that you have offended me ... I am imagining that there is sin, that there is separation ... so I'm seeing in you what is in me, but what I am blind to ... you are offering me a gift, enabling me to see what's harming me unawares, within me ... so my forgiveness is an acknowledgement that only love is real, and offense is in my egoic mind ... I see that you and I are the same ... wounded ones in need of healing ... and so I extend to you the very kindness, compassion, and love that I most need for myself."
Forgiveness, as I'm learning, is seeing beyond the "offense" into the true nature of the other one, seeing only love there, and recognizing that all attack is a cry for love. Whether I receive love or an attack/call for love, my response can only be love, if I'm in my right mind.
My prayer can be, "God help me to see this person through Your eyes, and not my ego's eyes." I want to see as God sees, think as God thinks, and love as God loves.
My ego will attack and defend ... (& defense is a form of attack -- hard one to face!). My ego wants walls and divisions ... my ego will seek for those to support me in my egoic stance.
I'm recognizing, after I stop resisting, that the ones who most hurt me are my greatest teachers ... they show me the limits of my ability to forgive ... and I need to see this in myself, even as I don't like looking at it. But as I refuse to see God in another person, to that degree do I remain blind to seeing God within me.
Do I want to be right, or happy...?
I notice that when I'm treated with grace ... when others extend understanding, compassion and forgiveness to me, I respond in kind. I notice that when I extend this understanding, compassion and forgiveness to others, they respond in kind. I notice that meeting an attack with an attack only escalates the ego in both of us.
Now, if only I can remember that, while IN an egoic situation...!
If only I can keep that in mind when my children's' egoic-squabbling gets to that level wherein my own ego is engaged..!
My lucid moments need in invade my real-life experiences...! Help!
Maybe that's it ... maybe I can just top mid-reaction, and cry out to God, "HELP! My ego has taken over and I can't see my way out!"
What if I could remember that people are not what they say, and they are not what they do ... what if I could see past that appearance, into who they really are, and respond to THAT...?
What if I could connect with the truth of each person, and accept them in that light, even if they're not in touch with that truth about themselves...?
What if I could keep in mind that all attack comes out of fear ... that they're really calling out for love...? What if in doing so, I could remind them of who they really are?
What if I could learn to live this way ...?