Tuesday, April 6, 2010

About Dependency ...

So, here we are, in this 3D matrixy experience we call life ... this realm we inhabit ... and I notice that we develop dependency on others. Now, it's a given that in our current (yet very transient) society, dependency is about as necessary as money. We rely on others to do certain things to keep the machine going, and we all seem to want (really badly!) to keep this machine in motion.

That's one level of dependency, which is, for now, required.

But there's an entirely different level of dependency that's actually getting in the way ... psychological/emotional dependency. What this means is that I set up you to be my source of happiness. What a burden! What a trap!

See, once I do that, then I start demanding that you continue to keep me happy. Then comes the fear ... fear of loss/rejection/alienation/control ... fear that I will lose this happiness-source, that you will let me down, that you will do something that will sabotage my happiness, cut off my happiness, and then I, like any other addict, will attack you.

But (& we need to get this down-deep!), perfect love casts out all fear ... love has no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I cannot demand that you make me happy ... my happiness does not lie in you.

My happiness is something I own, within myself, and when I know that I own it, I can freely invite you into it ... I can give it to you, and watch it expand before my eyes ... a thing borne out of freedom.

What I really enjoy is not (my image of) you ... but something that's greater than both you and I ... something that I can only discover ... a symphony ... parts playing at times in unison, and at other times in harmony.

But, can I truly love you, if I cling to you, and do not let you go? If I won't let you be who you are? Am I loving you, or my image of you? And, is it love to demand that you fulfill my image? Is it love, if I need, psychologically and emotionally, for you to be my source of happiness?

Loneliness is not cured by human contact ... it's cured by contact with the deepest Reality.

Just some thoughts stirring in me today ...

Shalom, Dena

3 comments:

MysticBrit said...

I'm coming to see, and I know you are too, Dena, that we can never be alone, 'cos we're All One. Really. This is the Deepest Reality, and takes away all fear for as long as we are Conscious. This spacetimey matrixy thingy's only purpose is to show us that Reality, by showing us What It Isn't. I never tire of saying that, 'cos it's All We Need To Know, and I'll continue to say it for the rest of my sojourn in this Magnificent Illusion which we call life.

Today, I'm Conscious that I'm never who I think I am, that I simply AM. And Everyone Else Is too. The same big, beautiful One, expressing infinitely, uniquely and with Cosmic Fun!:)

annie said...

good thoughts dena. as thoreau wrote (or was it emerson? LOL), 'though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we carry it with us, or we find it not". namaste

marianne said...

yes.