I found myself in a quandary ... kinda-sorta part way between one mindset that's falling away, and another mindset that's emerging from behind the veil of the former ... and I feel myself pulled in two directions (or so it seems) ... and so I told God this was happening (yeah - like He needed to be informed! He was just waiting for me to confess it as my experience, so I'd be willing to deal with it).
The feeling was of confusion, and percolating fear (fear of losing something I currently cling to) ... and yet an excitement that a lie was about to be revealed, and thus Truth was about to emerge, and thus that freedom was about to be had...!
Basically I told God that I really want to see this thing the way He does, so, please do what it takes to make that happen.
And then I went about my business ... doing what I'd been given to do. Y'know, living life.
Well, this morning, it seems that God met me (again, in the bathroom - Our fave hang-out, me and God), and a downloading has been going on since ... for a while there, I couldn't keep up with the note-taking ... ("could You please slow down a bit, God? My hand is cramping!") ... and it continued during my walk ... wishing I'd had a recording device ... hoping I wouldn't lose it as the endorphins settled down again ...
It really started yesterday, after the phone call, shortly after uttering that "help!" to God ... a friend shared this (thanks, Annie!):
There's a deep rut in the "Christian faith", as most believers experience it. It's like a ditch that you run your car into and can't get out of. Unless God tows a believer out of the rut, he or she will never fully live out of their union with Christ.
The rut is this: most of us believe that in the depths of our being we are both good and bad. Or, to put it in theological terms, we are both righteous and sinful. Using a common illustration, we believe that we have within us both a white dog and a black dog, a good nature and a bad nature, that are fighting for control.
But that is not true. It is vital that we know it's not true, because if we believe that we are both righteous and sinful, it will be impossible to live out of our union with Christ and to rest, trusting that He lives through us moment by moment. Instead, we will be focused on ourselves, on getting our act together, on winning the war that supposedly rages within us, trying to suppress the bad part of us so that the good part will reflect the character of Christ. This endless self-effort is the complete opposite of what Paul wrote:
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God... (Galatians 2:20)
The only way out of this dilemma, of believing that we are both good and bad, is to understand that the realm of the spirit, above the line, is singular. It is one. The realm of appearances, below the line, is a duality. It is two.
In the realm of appearances, there is constant evidence of good and evil, both outside and inside us. If we judge by appearances, we arrive at the logical conclusion that we are both good and bad. That looks entirely valid. Christians have believed this for centuries. Except for a small minority who have come to know their true identity in Christ, the whole Christian world accepts the lie. Unfortunately, although something may not be true above the line, if below the line we think it is true, it still controls us. We must choose to live out of what is singular, rather than what is dual.
The realm of the spirit, the singular realm, is eternal reality. That is where our spirit being lives, and where our true identity is settled forever. The realm of appearance, although we must live in it in the here and now, is false as far as our identity goes. All of life depends on which realm is ultimate reality to you: the realm of spirit or the realm of appearances. That's going to determine what you believe and how you live.
Choosing to believe that you are not both good and evil can be difficult. All of the external proof, all of the apparent evidence, all of the sight, supports the opposite: that you have two natures. ''You are good, yes, a little good, but boy, you are still wicked; you are still evil.'' Only the Holy Spirit can reveal to you that you only have one nature, not two. In the core of your being you are not both righteous and sinful; you are only righteous.
Now bear with me, as this unfolds ... this is being birthed in me, and I'm hoping to be able to relay it as it happens ...
Then, this morning, I read about eternal Life ... not as Christianity has defined it (i.e., something we achieve via faith, after we die), but as the very Life of God -- which we are living, here and now.
- Immortality is not longevity ... immortality is the realization of our true identity as God-breathed beings ... manifestations of God Himself... here and now. And this life does not end. It cannot.
- Death is not a part of God's creation ... for "the last enemy that shall be overcome is death." Yes, of course, each of us will, in our own time and way, pass from sight to beyond-sight. But we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses ... ultimate reality is that which we cannot see, yet.
- Those who do not live in knowledge of God (who He is, who we are IN Him), may be "forced" out of their bodies by disease, accident, or old age; those with an understanding of God as HE is, as we ARE, make the transition without struggle, pain, or infirmity. We all leave this plane of consciousness ... but how we leave is determined by our understanding of God.
- Life is a long series of transitions ... we go from utero, to infancy, to childhood, to adolescence, to maturity, to advanced years ... each state of consciousness gives way to the next. Those who accept the transition of each stage to the next, without trying to cling to the previous state (which is then outgrown), do not experience the "infirmities" of aging. Resisting the advancement of years, as if they are to be feared, actually brings about many of the sufferings/manifestations we associate with age...! (it's not what happens to me that harms me -- it's what I *think* about what happens to me that harms me) When I accept the natural changes that come with each transition-stage, I'm able to look forward to each new experience ... receiving them with joy and confidence, rather than with fear and dread. My perception determines my experience.
- I am here for a purpose ... to do that which was prepared for me to do from the foundation of the world. To cooperate with God in bringing Light into darkness. As long as I still have work to do, in this plane of existence/consciousness, God will maintain me in strength, youth, vitality, health and wholeness. And when it's time to transition, I transition.
- Every transition is for the glory of God, and for my own development and growth. Each is good, each is necessary. None are to be despised, discounted, or resisted.
- (Here's a biggie!) Death is never part of any of these experiences. What we call death is just another transition, to follow those preceding it. Death is our human interpretation of what we are witnessing. But what did Jesus say, prior to resurrecting those who were called "dead". He said, "they're only sleeping." I notice that I go to sleep every night ... and I notice that I wake up to life again. What is this telling me... day after day, after day...?
- Once we know God, once we know who He is, His true nature and character (and not what man declares), we realize that we are living His life and this life is eternal ... flowing without end. "He is your life, and the length of your days."
- I notice that our bodies "die" daily ... fingernails and hair is dead material that is cut off, and continues to grow ... skin sheds, cells continuously change, being renewed ... the body I am in is not the body I was in even a few years ago ...! It is continuously "dying" ... and yet my true identity, my consciousness *remains*. What does that tell me?
- Here's the problem: from birth, we are told and trained, and unquestioningly believe, the notion that our bodies are US. We have identified our bodies as ourselves ... when, in truth, our bodies are instruments for us to use in this stage of life... the earthly/physical plane. It's a vehicle ... never for one minute do I confuse myself with the car that I drive ... my car is not ME. It's an instrument to get me around. SO too, is my body. My true self is spirit, Spirit, consciousness of God. And this, my true self, never dies ... whereas my body is always dying (John Lennon once said, "we don't die - we just change cars").
- I see that I'm told that I need to die daily ... that is, my thought of me being my body, my mind, needs to die daily, so that the real me, the Spirit, can emerge and live. I am here to live the Life of God.
- Transformation takes place in consciousness/awareness ... and then is externalized as form. Thoughts become things. Everything first begins as a thought. As a man thinks in his own heart, so is he.
Next, I'll share the thoughts that began to come to me, as I meditated on what I'd read ...