As a result ... we get hurt. Badly. And often.
Even with "ideal" parenting, none of us gets the unconditional love, and full acceptance, that each of us needs to thrive ...
When we were small children, particularly in the first 6-7 years, before we developed critical thinking skills, we accepted whatever happened to us, whatever we were told, as "truth". And when painful things happened, we blamed ourselves. Smack-dab in the midst of a painful moment, we "owned" the responsibility for that pain ... we internalized the belief that "if this bad thing happened to me, it must mean that I am no good ... worthless ... unloved ... unlovable ... not-okay."
Of course it wasn't true ... but it sure FELT true. And, even if we manage to suppress and "forget" those painful memories, we will still operate out of the "truth" that we are worthless, unloved, not-okay.
This becomes our core belief, carried in our foundational make-up ... in our "hearts" ... and they will prevent us from receiving/believing the affirmations we hear in our minds ... our core beliefs will negate and dismiss anything that doesn't align with the "truth" that we falsely believe.
Once we have these core issues, rooted in pain, we will do ANYthing to AVOID this pain. In fact, we will work overtime to compensate for this pain ... if I believe that I am stupid, I may overachieve for the rest of my life, trying to prove, to myself and others, that I'm not stupid ... that I'm smart. But I will never believe it, and nothing I do will be enough ... I'll just remain on the treadmill of endless over achievement, exhausting myself in an effort to be "smart enough".
What are the areas of your life that don't work? Where do you suffer?
Any relationship and any area of your life that doesn't work is an area where a specific suppressed hurt from the past, or core issue, is being triggered.
In an automatic, unconscious attempt to avoid this hurt, you create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. You lose your ability to see clearly and you act in a way that literally creates more hurt.
Next: How We Create and Destroy Love
Shalom & Namaste~