Not in mere concept.
Not from what others tell me.
Not even from what others experience.
This is something I need to experience for myself.
I need to meet mySelf, know mySelf, become intimate with mySelf, and love mySelf.
Without that, I have little of value to give to anyone else ... for mySelf is being hidden beneath the fears I harbor ... under all the unquestioned core beliefs I unknowingly cherish and protect ... and while mySelf can, and does, come through, it cannot do so freely and fully, until I've reclaimed my own inner identity and power.
Now, it's one thing to know this ... it's quite another thing to get from HERE to THERE.
So, I put it out there to the Universe, kinda-sorta like this, "Ok, all y'all ... Cosmic Dudes and Dudettes ... Angels, Guides, God/Goddess ... All That Is ... Source of All ... You know Who you are. I need your help. Big time. I need some serious guidance, clarity, and most especially ... to know who I am, why I'm here ... what is my soul's purpose. I really want to make the most of this life ... and I need help. Please. Please-please-please. Oh, and some signs along the way, for encouragement and direction -- well, that would be nice, too. Thanks."
It's especially effective if such a request is made in the shower. A long, hot shower. Complete with honest, heart-sourced tears and hollering. But no candles.
Fast-forward to one of the many nights I was making a solo-drive from Portland, OR, back to where I live ... (Portland is where the action is, and I'm frequently up there for various spiritual and/or artistic adventures). It was a gorgeous night ... the sunset was particularly spectacular (sky-blue-pink, with orangey-streaks, and Venus making her debut over the coastal mountain range) ... and the full Harvest moon was nearly hoarding up the entire Eastern sky (all of this gandering was causing meandering while driving!) ... and I happened to stumble upon a little radio station being broadcast out of Nevada ... could hardly pick it up. But I heard a man talking about all manner of spiritual changes that were happening in our world, at this time ... and he mentioned a book of his, "Infinite Self" ... a self-guided discovery of getting to know your True Self. So my ears perked up (every time I hear that phrase, I think of Vulcans, but never mind), and I tuned in ...
Arriving back at my computer, I searched for the book, found it (at a vast discount - *score*!), and through the magic of cyberspace, got it mailed to me ... it was delivered in two days, voila!
As is usual, I currently have close to a dozen books that I'm reading, dabbling in, thumbing through, and/or waiting to get to. But, by the time I had read the intro and first chapter, I knew that not only did I need to read this one NOW, but that I wanted to share it HERE ... it always helps me to digest new information by not only reading about it, but also writing about it ... and it may spark something in someone else, too ... bonus.
But, just so y'know ... this is really for Me. :)
The author is Stuart Wilde ... a British, brilliant, irreverent sort of guy (brilliant and irreverent always-and-forever being irresistible to me!) ... who manages to take the ancient and deep wisdom of the Tao de Ching (specifically the "33 Energies of Man"), and bring it down to the earthly plane ... where, I notice, most of us currently live.
Here's his goal:
The point of trying to attain a higher spiritual energy of this sort is so that it can set you free, and liberate you from emotional disquiet -- and so you can teach it to your brothers and sisters and set them free... I like energies that are "down here," that help you transcend ordinary things, such as your loopy mother-in-law who's driving your crackers. That's the kind of user-friendly mysticism I like... if you can get to the end of the 33 steps, and if you follow through with action, it will raise your energy, give you awareness, and set you free. Eventually you pass through a doorway to straddle two worlds: this one and another more spiritual, infinite world that is in an evolution alongside ours.
I like that -- straddling two worlds. Yes, I want more awareness, but not for the purpose that I can then float nebulously in the air. I figure we're here on purpose -- that matter matters ... that we're here to enjoy relationships, to learn, to co-create. To be HAPPY.
And the primary relationship, as I keep re-learning ... is with the Self. The True Self. I'm willing to take the next 33 days of delving into this, and doing the suggested actions, as a sort of experiment -- will I be more aware of my own Infinite Self, of my true identity, of my inner power, 33 days from now?
Anyone else wanna explore this with me...? Chime in!
Here's what Stuart says:
Of course you have to have the desire to change and grow. That desire often starts out from a negative place -- as dissatisfaction with your current circumstances or the people around you. You ache for an opportunity to slip away to something new.
Sometimes the great and wonderful goodness that is the invisible universe around us helps us by delivering a sudden change, one that marks a special turning point in our lives ... something different happens that sends your story into another direction. When the current energy of your life gets stale and used up, the emotions, feelings and discontent from deep within create for you a "plot point" [when everything changes -- this is orchestrated by your Infinite Self]. It often has spiritual or physical implications.
Maybe you get sick ... for others, their plot point is whacking a tree -- that usually turns 'em around. Or there's a divorce, a death in the family, a bankruptcy, or something weird happens ... the kind of action that will turn a mundane life into a sacred quest... Sometimes we generate "accidents" in order to escape from an impossible situation, thereby generating the change we need; and sometimes we create "accidents" from a lack of balance when we are deep in the grip of the ego. So, you shouldn't get emotionally upset. We are all infinite. And all events - positive or negative - are just part of our journey from ego to spirit. Some just take a shortcut.
If there's a shortcut to be had, I'm in!
I'll launch into Day One tomorrow ... anybody gonna play with me...?
Shalom & Namaste ~